Friday, January 16, 2009

A Reflective Week

This has been an interesting week for me. It was the first week of my new semester in my Spiritual Direction Internship. This semester "the gloves come off" so to speak and we actually have to begin to perform the task of spiritual direction in a very structured and supervised environment directing our fellow classmates.

This semester also the topics go even deeper into the realm of spirituality; for instance the first topic on Tuesday was Spirituality and Social Justice. For three hours we delved into the true biblical meaning of justice and how counter-cultural it is to contemporary societies meaning of justice in many ways. It was an intense morning to say the least.

I volunteered to be a Guinea pig directee for the first session of Spiritual direction in our afternoon session. One of our instructors was the Director, and was showing the other classmates how to conduct a direction session. I was told to come prepared with a topic to discuss, so I had been thinking over the weekend about something that I have been trying to figure out for a while. I didn't expect much, since the session was only going to be 20 minutes long, but what happened was an extremely intense spiritual experience in which I was able to unpack not only why I have been struggling with this issue, but also to explore an even deeper understanding of how I see God and God's love and care for me.

By the end of the time I had laughed and cried and found a resolution to my dilemma that will keep me in a volunteer ministry that I love doing but that had been causing me great distress for quite some time, because I am doing it for the right reason, and my human, faulty gift to that ministry is worth giving.

Then yesterday as the angelbaby and I were driving to school, the car transmission went out and we got stranded on the side of the road in the freezing cold. As we were sitting there assessing our situation the angelbaby was trying to find something to be optimistic about and realized that had the car gone out earlier in the week mrangelmeg would have still been away on his work trip and not blessedly a local call away to handle calling for son-and-heir to come pick us up, and a tow truck to pick up the car and tow it to the shop.

I am constantly amazed at how many faith lessons I learn from my youngest child. We still don't know the extent of the car's problems, and may have to make a decision as to whether it is even worth it to sink a bunch of money into a 10 year old car, but we at least have son-and-heir's car to share for a few days and the girls all have Martin Luther King Jr Day off on Monday.

After sitting here this morning and reflecting on my week, I have come to realize that God carefully orders our steps. I am so blessed that I have this family that is filled with people who are so willing to pitch in and get the job done.

Next week it is my turn to be Spiritual Director for the first time. I have no illusions that I will be as masterful as my instructor was, but if I learned anything from my session of direction this week it is that anything worth doing is worth beginning poorly because you can't begin to improve unless you begin.


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