Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Where is God?

I went for my monthly Spiritual Direction visit today. After listening to me recount my life as I have lived it over the last month - trying to juggle being a mother, wife, student, daughter, housekeeper (yeah, a lot of that has gotten done this last month) friend, sister, evangelist, pilgrim, etc, etc. Fr. had the nerve to ask "where do you find God in all of this?"

I sat there in stunned silence for a moment, thinking.

It was then I realized, God must be here, in the midst of the struggle, and the anguish over the essays and the rush to cook dinner for a family that I have all but ignored all day trying to get something on paper. He must be somewhere in the piles of laundry that go unwashed another day as I struggle to fit in one more visit to Mrs Alzheimer's, who doesn't care that I am there and really doesn't want me to visit anyway. There is a grace in all of this even if the grace isn't bringing with it the peace that I normally feel.

The Israelites in the desert didn't feel a great deal of peace I am guessing, but God was with them every step of their journey testing them, making them stronger and proving them to be His people.

So, I came away from Spiritual Direction with the promise that God is with me in the struggle that I find myself in at the present moment. So long as I keep taking the next step of faith and making the next right decision God will guide me through and eventually I will regain that sense of peace and balance that I need in my life.

Let's just hope that happens before I lose all my pretty marbles mkay?


Monday, October 29, 2007

Some Said It Couldn't be Done . . .

Colts 31

Panthers 7

Especially after the first 13 minutes of the game when Testerverde took Carolina on a 16 down run that ended in the first (and only, for them) score of the game. Our defense looked like it couldn't stop anything. And Vinnie looked like he was capable of playing with the big boys again.

Then after a very rough first quarter we got our game faces on and began to play. As I have said all season, the one thing they do really well is not get flustered when things aren't working the way they expect them to work, they just adjust their game.

It seemed like at first none of their receivers were catching anything, I am not sure if it was because they weren't used to playing outside, or because Marvin Harrison, who is Peyton's go-to-guy was out wasn't there, but passing just didn't seem to be working for them. Touchdowns came on rushing more often this game than other games. Although there were some spectacular catches in the second half.

The Colts always play much better in the second half. You can never count them out no matter how ragged their first half looks, because they get in the locker room and figure out what they need to readjust in their game strategy to make the second half go more smoothly.

They certainly dominated the second half of yesterday's game. I heard the announcer say that Carolina hadn't given up a 4th quarter point, that is until yesterday when the Colts scored a touchdown just after the start of the fourth quarter, and then again later on the the quarter.

Now they can focus on what everyone is calling "the game of the Century". All I can say is after everything that has been said about videotaping signals, and jamming headset transmissions I am certainly glad that we are playing this game at home and not in New England!

No Offense Mark.


Friday, October 26, 2007

New Arthritis Medicine . . .

but with weather like this how can I tell if it is working or not? The dang barometer is all over the scale today. One minute it is raining the next minute the sky is clear blue. I feel like I have been put through a pasta roller.

I suppose in a day or two the weather will calm down and I will be able to tell if this new medicine is back doing what it used to do which was allow me to get around without always feeling like I had a touch of the flu. (achey muscles all the time).

I suppose I should be thanking God that we finally have some rain.

Thanks a lot Old Man!

That is all the gratitude I can muster right now. I need a nap.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Now I am Really Done With Philosophy . . .

Because my never-ending Philosophy essay for my MA final is complete!

It was a horror story! just in time for Halloween, I tell you. Last week when I was doing the research I was flat on my back sick as a dog. This week when I was writing I kept writing and no matter how much I wrote it never seemed to get long enogh to reach the minimum length requirement. (believe me it is just barely eight pages which is the least I have to write and I am stopping NOW)

I was never so glad to see the bottom of a page in my life.

So, Now I move on to the Systematics essay for a professor I love and have taken two classes for and know exactly how to write. This one will just be a matter of pulling all the information together but I should be able to knock it together in about a week.

In the meantime I need to do a PowerPoint presentation on Deborah the Judge for the Women on the OT class I am auditing this semester. I can do that in a few days if I get right to it.

So I am way ahead of schedule so long as nothing weird happens (oh dang I wish I hadn't typed that, I am just asking for trouble.)


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What is it Like Living With a Big Ball of Stress?

Ask my patient and devoted husband. He got up and took the girls to school this morning so I could sleep in because I got such lousy sleep last night. He edited my first essay and will edit the other two and has listened without complaint to all of my stressful external mutterings about how I am going to ever get these things together. I really don't think I could do this without him and I wanted to say that somewhere where he would be sure to see it.
Thanks for the lifeline. Without you I would be adrift out there somewhere still trying to figure out which first word to put on the paper.
Countdown till final essays are complete and turned in:
T -minus 28 days.

Last Bit of Nonsense . . .

then I will seriously get back to work!

This may become my favorite pass time:

P. G. Wodehouse Random Quote Generator

his stuff is totally freakin' awesome even when it is completely out of context.

the one I got was:

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
Cocktail Time (1958)


h/t Gashwin for the link.


Monday Night Madness

Colts 29

Jags 7

The pre-game buzz on ESPN was all about how badly the Jaguars dominated the game last year. You would think that the Colts hadn't done anything like, well, I don't know, WIN A SUPERBOWL and 10 games in a row since last January.

The Colts did what they do best last night; play pretty even football and not get flustered when things don't go their way. And boy did they have a lot of chances to not get flustered last night. Peyton who usually is pretty accurate went almost stone cold for an entire set of downs and later he even tossed an interception (his second this season).

The one Jacksonville TD came completely on rushing right after the start of the second half -- in the entire sequence of downs there wasn't a single pass. But the Colts defense made up for that little bauble, effectively shutting down the Jacksonville offense. The Jags never got within scoring distance the rest of the game.

The other thing I was sick of hearing last night was how great a Quarterback Tom Brady is. To be honest I could care less. If all it will take is for Peyton to get a few more rings to make those lunkheads at ESPN think that he is just as good if not better than Mr. Brady, all they have to do is wait a few years. In my book Mr. Manning already has it over Tom Brady in integrity and on and off the football field. Not to mention he can do a lot more than just pass the football.

Go Colts!

Monday, October 22, 2007

40 Reasons to Have Children

So there is a meme going around the Catholic Internet and all these wonderful moms are waxing nostalgic and getting all spiritual about why they went and had kids. I thought this was just the kind of meme that I needed to let off steam and prepare me to complete my philosophy essay for my gradual school final.

So, in a nutshell this is (as best I can remember, it has been nearly 24 years since we started cookin' the first little varmint) why mrangelmeg and I had kids.

Nota: This is post should be taken tongue in cheek. It in no way is the only reason that himself and I decided to have children, I am sure that somewhere deep in our hearts way back 25 years ago we had much purer motives, but we were much younger then.

1. tax deductions, we get one for each kid we have (cha-ching)

2. swollen legs, hemorrhoids, a weak bladder and stretch marks are all the rage as signs of beauty or haven't you heard?

3. crawling babies clean the floor much more efficiently than those silly roomba vacuums (and we didn't have to pay shipping)

4. I don't have a lick of decorating sense, so I keep having kids and say I will decorate as soon as the kids move away (I am good well past 2025 woo hoo)

5. little kids are better than Comedy Central when it comes to making us laugh.

6. If we hadn't had kids I would have never seen a wet hamster.

7. kids are the best BS meter on the planet, they can spot a phony a mile away, especially when it is a parent so it keeps us really honest

8. I love to read, although if I had to choose I might not have chosen to read One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish for the three-thousand-four-hundred-ninety fifth-time last night, I suppose its a good thing no body's counting.

9. kids are one of the best reasons for having an after dinner drink (or two, or more)

10. since himself isn't very social the fact that we take up an entire pew in church suits him hust fine.

11. who needs vacations, when the kids want excitement we just have them switch bedrooms. Now that is as exciting as any amusement park you have to pay money to get into.

12. Kids little toys, especially Lego's make really good exercise equipment. If you accidentally step on one you hop around holding your foot for at least a half hour. That has to burn as many calories as those expensive machines they sell on television.

13. Who doesn't love kids food (probably the exact same thing every lunch for three weeks in a row even) I ask you?

14. Naps.

15. They keep your Math and English and Social Studies and Science skills sharp while you are helping them with their homework.

16. You are completely justified in buying sugar sweetened cereal (the kind with the prize inside) because your kids eat it -- yeah right!

17. You are completely justified in going to the animated movie that all the kids are going to, because you have to take your kids.

18. Have you seen all the cool toys they make now? (I suppose that is a dad's reason.)

19. live in excuse to go out for ice cream?

20. I'm playing with the kids is the greatest excuse for not doing whatever it is you are supposed to be doing.

21. Who doesn't want to spend an entire weekend at the baseball (basketball/soccer/volleyball/football) field, those concession stand nachos are just yummy.

23. My lifelong ambition was to be the ten year president of the elementary school PTO, really it was.

24. Surviving another year of the first grade Christmas Pageant makes you realize that sanity is relative, and probably fleeting.

26. liberals with no kids reduce, reuse, and recycle to be trendy. People with kids are trendy out of necessity cool.

28. If you can put together a tricycle at 3 o'clock in the morning after having had dinner with the in-laws and taken two cranky children to midnight mass without going insane you can conquer the world.

29. Getting fifteen minutes to yourself, even if it means having to lock the bathroom door and stuff toilet paper in your ears and hum as loud as you can, is worth it when you see how happy their little faces are when you finally come out.

30. eventually they actually get old enough to help you do housework.

31. they even get old enough to help mow the lawn, although you have to be sure to cut the blocks big enough so that their little feet reach the pedals on the rider.

32. who needs disposable income, we'd only get into trouble if we had money to waste on things. kids take care of all that extra income really efficiently.

33. Little girls grow up and legitimize my devoted husbands growing collection of firearms (to show to potential dates).

34. Eventually they get old enough to get their drivers license and you can make them take their brothers and sisters places in order to get the use of the car. Now that is a great reason.

35. Trick or Treat candy taxes. (don't tell me you don't take them up in your house, and if you don't you are welcome to the suggestion)

36. So that we could populate the world with children who would grow up loving Monty Python and Mel Brooks Movies, duh.

37. Because the bible tells us to be fruitful and multiply and it sounded a lot more fun than just adding.

38. Because who needs to sleep through the night anyway? When they are little they can't sleep and when they get old enough to go on dates you can't sleep.

39. Because retiring young is for wimps.

40. Because we know what it takes to make them and we enjoy the process thoroughly.

Now back to my essays.


Friday, October 19, 2007

Friday Funny . . .

Convert or Die



extremely funny,
extremely politically incorrect.
Just the right mix for a Friday Funny!
h/t to Ironic Catholic for the link

Has Anyone Seen My Brain?

So I am working on my next essay: In a nutshell Why must the act of faith be free and reasonable. (In eight pages no less.) and I appear to have lost all cognitive ability.

I can't seem to put two coherent sentences together.

I wonder if the reader would allow eight pages of stream of conscience(conscious, I can never remember which word is correct in this instance).

I have read so much Newman in the last two days I think I am going to scream (and I don't mean the guy from Mad Magazine either!)

I suppose the trick here is to just write as much as I can of whatever I can think of no matter how disjointed I think it is and then go back and edit it after I get it down on the paper after I get it written rather than trying to edit it as I go along.

My goal is to have this one written by next weekend. I think this is going to be a very long week. It is extremely challenging for me as a writer to be so incapable of putting my thoughts into written form.

I am in desperate need of a meme for diversion.


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

This was very powerful for me this morning. Especially the thought about brick walls being there to make you prove how much you want something. I think I agree with him. I might put it another way: where others find the brick wall a stumbling block, I find a steping stone (albeit one that takes an inovative way to get over it).

I am feeling much better today and hopefully will be getting back to work on my final essays. Thanks for the prayers.

NOTA: This guy was on Oprah Monday. Wow, I knew about something even before Oprah did, I feel so special.


That's Me: Kinda Dorky Nerd Queen

NerdTests.com says I'm a Kinda Dorky Nerd Queen.  What are you?  Click here!

But wasn't I cute in second grade? Sadly I still wear my hair in exactly the same style.

H/t to Martha Martha for the link

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Faith must be free, reasonable, and tested . . .

So I came back from gradual school with the full intention of beginning the second essay of my final. I had even taken two books on the subject of faith and reason and eked out a bit of time to read through them on the weekend. I had the seed of an idea of how I wanted to begin the essay. On Sunday evening though. I was very tired and decided that I would go to bed early and begin the essay on Monday.

I got up Monday morning feeling slightly queasy (slightly my eye, I hadn't felt that queasy since the last time I was pregnant). I got up, showered and prepared to go to the angelbaby's school where I am a media center volunteer on Mondays. By the time I actually got to school I knew that it wasn't going to go away, I was really sick.

I felt really bad about leaving the librarian with all the work I normally do undone, but I really had no business being there, so I came home. Mrangelmeg hadn't yet left for work when I got back here, and he agreed that I looked pretty ragged. I put back on jammies and got into bed. I slept most of the morning away. I did wake up in time to realize that I probably needed to find out if middle daughter needed a ride home from school (sometimes her boyfriend brings her home on Mondays.) I called her cell phone and sure enough she was still at school, so I drove over to get her. As soon as we got back home I went right back to bed and didn't get back up again until late in the afternoon.

Mrangelmeg took care of dinner for the troops so I just had to heat up some chicken and rice soup for myself. I was totally wiped out all evening.

I am not much better today. I seem to have about an hour of sustainable energy before I am just totally drained. I have placed my books on the bed, (hoping either the information will seep in through osmosis, or in a fit of high energy I will pick one up and read a chapter or two).

I am praying that this flu will begin to subside pretty quickly. Mrangelmeg is gong on another business trip today and will be gone the rest of the week. I had better get some sleep before I have to pick up daughter from school.


Friday, October 12, 2007

Just a Few Days Shy

October 10th marked the beginning of mrangelmeg and my 25th year together. I missed posting on that date because I was working on my final exam essays and didn't have time to post. Now that I have a few minutes here at gradual school before we all go out for the evening (mrangelmeg isn't here tonight but is driving down tomorrow so we can go out to dinner) I want to write something about how blessed I have been over the past 25 years.

The above picture is our engagement picture. We got engaged one month after our first date (those quiet engineer types work fast). We have a bit of disagreement over exactly when our time together begins. He counts from the night my mom made a big pot of chili for my sister's fiance's fraternity brothers to celebrate their college homecoming and he showed up for free food. I happened to be eating there that night as well because I wanted the free food.

We didn't say a word to each other that night. A week later I went to a party at my sister's fiance's fraternity and in an attempt to get away from the cigarette smoke (I had recently quit smoking and didn't need the temptation) I had ventured into the kitchen, where mrangelmeg was standing with a beer in his hand talking about, of all things, being a confirmation sponsor for a young kid from his home church. That led to a discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) of the local churches.

It turned out that we both hated the campus ministry parish, which I affectionately called "Our Lady of the Nuclear Winter". I told him that he should come to my parish for Mass the next Sunday. We hung around together the rest of the party and even went to the Midnight Movie (Rocky Horror Picture Show, good times) before I went home to my apartment alone.

On Sunday, I was coming down the stairs of the school (I taught 5th grade CCD) and he was standing at the bottom of the stairs. We went to Mass together (he liked my church as much as I did). Mom was at mass and asked us if we wanted to come to her house for breakfast. Being poor college kids we said uhm yes. After breakfast he drove me back to my place. On the way I asked him if he wanted to come to the party at my church that night in honor of the canonization of Maximilian Kolbe. (Franciscan parish, big deal). Even if it is a snore there will be free food, I added. He said yes and said he would pick me up in a few hours.

We went to the party which was decidedly not a snore, and the food was great. A week later we went on our first real date to a German Restaurant. The rest, as they say, is history (or our-story actually). One month later we were engaged. six months after that we were married.

I am complete because I am married to mrangelmeg. He is the only person who can keep me from going off the deep end. He loves me unconditionally, and challenges me to be the best person I can be (what God created me to be).

We are going to go out to dinner at a German Restaurant tomorrow night to honor our first date. Only this year he will decidedly have a better chance of getting more than a kiss goodnight (if you know what I mean - wink wink- nudge nudge).


Mom Laugh For The Day

Actually I left right after lunch to go to my Gradual School class so I think I said all those things in about that amount of time before I left home.

In case you can't hear fast enough here are the lyrics thanks to KM

"The Mom Song"

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here's your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don't play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don't forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don't make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don't sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don't get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I'll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,
"I don't care who started it!
You're grounded until you're 36"
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before
That you're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get up here, say a prayer with mom
Don't forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I'm the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!
Ta da!!!



I have taken my blood pressure every day since I went to the Dr and it has ranged in high normal range. Perhaps it was just an anomaly, perhaps there was some other factor that made it high that one day.

I will keep checking and begin to make dietary changes to try to keep it lower. As for de-stressing my life, that will have to wait until after November 20th.

Thanks for your prayers.


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

This Final is Killing Me . . .

I had some prescription issues so I went into my Dr.'s office today to see the Nurse Practitioner and get them resolved. (On a side note I got to see pictures of my Dr.s new baby boy, her fourth child-- she is on maternity leave for another month).

While I was there as part of normal charting they took my blood pressure and it is HIGH.

I am not kidding when I tell you that my blood pressure today was higher than I think it has ever been for me and it really gave me a fright.

It could be that I am not taking medications that I really need to take (they ran out and I just haven't had time to get them refilled -- though none of them are for blood pressure). It could just be that taking care of mom's needs and trying to get this final finished and taking care of family issues is just too much all at once, and as soon as things settle down my blood pressure will do the same. The problem is while I can count on it being the latter, I need to do something about the situation while I wait.

The NP said that I should use the same methods that the Dr. talked about for my borderline BP problems when I was quitting my job (diet, less salt, etc). I should start checking it every day again as well. I stopped checking it this summer when I went for a long time with normal readings.

Anyway I would appreciate some prayers for me that I make it through this final (and my mom's ongoing needs) without any detriment to my own health in the process. That would be really good.

Monday, October 08, 2007

They Said This One Was Going to be Close . . .

Colts 33
Buccaneers 14

I can only assume that the pundit who said prior to the game that this would be a close one meant . . .

close to a blowout!!!!!!

With five of the top starters sidelined with injuries Keith and Gonzalez really stepped up and took on leading roles in the offense. The defense just did what it has done this entire season, stop the play short of a touchdown, in this game they were helped by an opposing offense that just couldn't seem to put together four good plays in a row, let alone a scoring drive.

We have a bye week coming up, which is a good thing because maybe our starters will be well enough to step back in for the next game, but even if they don't we will still be able to play pretty well if Sunday is any indication.
Go Colts!!!!!!


Saturday, October 06, 2007

Blog Forecast and What to Watch

I am afraid for the next month or so there will be only intermittent blogging going on here. I am so overwhelmed right now with my final essays (I am only about half-way done with the first of three, I expected to be completely done with the first one by tomorrow, but there is no way that will happen.) that I hardly have time for anything else.

I did make some time to check out a few of the new shows on television.

My two favorites of the new shows are:

Pushing Daisies



They are both quirky and fun to watch but in very different ways.

I hope to check back in occasionally, probably when the essays begin to drive me crazy.


Monday, October 01, 2007

Colts Win, but at what cost?

Colts 38
Broncos 20

But in that win we lost 4 key players to injury. That is a scary thought.