Monday, May 28, 2007

When Animals Attack

I have mentioned before that I love the Bob & Tom Radio Program and listen to it every morning as I drive the angelkids to school or run errands or sadly as I drive to morning mass (which probably isn't the best way to prepare for divine liturgy, if you have ever heard some of the comedy they do on Bob and Tom).

One of their weekly guests is a comedian named Tim Bedore who does a spot every Tuesday called Vague But True with Tim Bedore where he rants about whatever happens to be on his mind. He does this by phone-line from his home in Minnesota. Often, lately the topic has been "The vast animal conspiracy" Like this one. Mr Bedore believes that animals are actually conspiring against humans and their recent aggressive behavior that has been related in print and video media is proof of this. People send him stuff all the time about animals attacking unsuspecting joggers or picnickers or hikers or campers and he adds these stories to his long list of paranoiac rants about how animals are banding together to embarrass as many humans as possible.

Well here at the angelmeg household we may (or may not) have a story for Mr Bedore. Since last Thursday we have had an adolescent cardinal trying to peck his way through our front door window glass. He is relentless.

We have a beautiful front door with side panel windows on either side that are the height of the door. The stupid (or evil, you be the judge) bird sits on the railing of our porch and dive bombs the side windows and the front door repeatedly trying to get in. Or, we probably suspect, trying to attack his reflection in the glass.

For four days now he has been counting coup. We have tried taping pictures of hawks onto the glass. Our autistic daughter read about this online and thought it might work so she drew, colored, cut out and taped up three hawk pictures onto the glass. This had no effect whatsoever on the stupid (or evil) bird. The attacks are still coming.

Whenever we go out onto the porch the bird will fly away, but as soon as we come back into the house it comes right back and begins the barrage. Not even the rain has stopped it. So long as it isn't pouring down, the silly bird is out there pecking away.

If anyone has other ideas, short of completely covering the window and doors with paint, we are game. We really don't want the stupid (or evil) little thing to get hurt, we just want him to stop pecking at our window before he drives us crazy.



Anonymous said...

Why do you call it evil? Christ sent demons into a herd of swine, not birds! This bird may think it's a rival for his ladylove, whom you ought to see nearby him somewhere in a tree (the female is brownish, rather than brilliant red). If not, then it may be he is looking for a mate -- some birds tap things like crazy. Or, is it possible that there is a nest somewhere in the house that may've been made when you were away?

Suzanne said...

I don't know, but I just found this funny. Really funny!

Unknown said...

get a grip anonymous, if you look at the label this was labeled as humor. My calling the silly bird evil was supposed to be taken as hummorous, not as some attack on wild life.

BTW: in case anyone is interested, the bird is still pecking at the windows after a week. Whatever it is thinking, it can't be thinking too clearly at this point after ramming its little head into our front door thousands of times in a week.