My first Semester is coming swiftly to a close. I have one more reflection assignment where I have to answer some questions about my first semester, and I have a synthesis experience (whatever that means) on Tuesday. Then I will have completed my first grueling semester of my Spirtual Direction Internship.
As I write these words I have just unpacked the box from Amazon which included the books for my second semester:
The Holy Longing by Ronald Rolhieser,
Holy Listening by Margaret Guenther
The Discerning Heart by Maureen Conroy
Interior Castle by Teresa of Avilla
and The Impact of God (John of the Cross) by Iain Matthew
I am actually really excited about the selection of books. They are all very interesting and cover areas of spirituality that will make me a much better director when it comes time next fall to actually take my first directee.
Knowing how this semester went though I have forewarned for next semester and will get a jump start on the reading a bit in November and December so that I can be a bit ahead of the game when it the semester starts.
We also begin to practice "doing direction" next semester with direct supervision. Instead of the five minute mini session we have had in our classroom this semester, next semester we will actually be doing half hour session with feedback from the observers and our supervising instructors. All I can say about this is YIPPEE!!! I want someone to help me to ask the right questions, and help me to help those who come to me. I am a bit scared, but I am ready to try.
In fact I am so willing to try, that I am signed up to be the first Guinea pig ( I am going to be the first directee for the first session when our supervising instructor goes through a session with the class watching. As directee you have to go into the session as if you are really going to direction (this isn't play acting folks -- I have cried every time I have done one of these sessions, so far even for five minute sessions, so I can imagine what a 30 minute session will be like.)
I realize that no matter how much practice I get, that first time I sit down with a directee I am going to think "holy crud, what I am trying to do here." but the more practice I get and the more faithful I am to the process they are putting me through the more carefully the Holy Spirit will be preparing me so that when I do start taking directees I won't feel as though I am wasting their time.
I know this is what God wants me to do. I just have to be faithful to the process so that the work that needs to be done in me can be done to prepare me for the work that needs to happen in others.
I have a lot of things to keep me going before January. Even if there isn't an assignment due every week for a while.