Today was a good day. I can feel them slipping through my fingers.
This afternoon my mom and I sat at her kitchen table and had a nice talk over glasses of lemonade and some fresh fruit. We talked about her memories of her mom, because she suffered from migraines as I do. We talked about my new medication that has kept me nearly headache free for two years. We talked about my future plans when my job ends in a few months. We made plans for me to return then and stay with her for a while this summer when my kids are out of school. She helped me to see that there will be a future for me beyond my work at the parish, and she gave me the courage to not fear new experiences because up until now I have been thinking about what will come next, but not really with an open heart because I have felt that there really was no way that I could ever achieve what God might be calling me to next. We laughed about some of our memories, and we had a very enjoyable time.
It was, for a short while as though the dark cloud of her disease wasn't hovering over us. There was no thought that perhaps when my job ends this summer she might be so impaired by her disease that she will be unable to live here at home and I will be visiting her not here but in a nursing home.
I just wanted to write about it so that when we are in the dark days I can come back to this post and remember that there were days like today. There were moments when she still remembered who I am. There were moments when her love for me showed through in a very strong and true way. This was one of those days. In our whole conversation I know she wasn't pretending to remember who I was. She remembered things about my childhood and recent history that weren't just coincidental or could have applied to any of my other siblings. She was talking to me.
God is so good, all the time.
Today was a good day.