Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Counting the Good Days

Today was a good day. I can feel them slipping through my fingers.

This afternoon my mom and I sat at her kitchen table and had a nice talk over glasses of lemonade and some fresh fruit. We talked about her memories of her mom, because she suffered from migraines as I do. We talked about my new medication that has kept me nearly headache free for two years. We talked about my future plans when my job ends in a few months. We made plans for me to return then and stay with her for a while this summer when my kids are out of school. She helped me to see that there will be a future for me beyond my work at the parish, and she gave me the courage to not fear new experiences because up until now I have been thinking about what will come next, but not really with an open heart because I have felt that there really was no way that I could ever achieve what God might be calling me to next. We laughed about some of our memories, and we had a very enjoyable time.

It was, for a short while as though the dark cloud of her disease wasn't hovering over us. There was no thought that perhaps when my job ends this summer she might be so impaired by her disease that she will be unable to live here at home and I will be visiting her not here but in a nursing home.

I just wanted to write about it so that when we are in the dark days I can come back to this post and remember that there were days like today. There were moments when she still remembered who I am. There were moments when her love for me showed through in a very strong and true way. This was one of those days. In our whole conversation I know she wasn't pretending to remember who I was. She remembered things about my childhood and recent history that weren't just coincidental or could have applied to any of my other siblings. She was talking to me.

God is so good, all the time.

Today was a good day.

Pax

3 comments:

Mark Mossa, SJ said...

Nice post. It's good to store up the memories of these days of consolation, they make the tougher days a bit easier to handle!

tom said...

glad you had such a good day.
We do tend to forget that life truly is one day, one hour, one moment at a time.
sometimes it takes a rough time to make us appreciate that truth.
God, he is a funny guy that way, isn't he?

Suzanne said...

Oh, angelmeg, what a wonderful gift and blessing! Yes, it is good you wrote this down. God is good and you both had a wonderful day!
I was "de-cluttering" a couple of places yesterday. I ran upon old letters from my mom and some prayer cards, old rosaries, and scapular. The STILL spoke to me!They aren't going anywhere but right here. I think of them as sort of "3rd class" relics of a very brave and saintly woman! You will too...don't forget to keep some of those things as well.
I am so glad ya'll had such a time together! :)