Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Tough Choices and Tough Love

Mrangelmeg and I had a tough discussion with our beautiful oldest daughter before she went back to school. We had to tell her that this will be the last semester that we will be paying for her education. We made this decision because for three semesters while we have been paying for her education she has chosen to fail a course every semester. This semester she not only failed a course, but got a D in another and an incomplete in yet another, passing a total of 7 credits out of 13 attempted.

We are tired of watching our hard earned money being wasted while she plays at being a college kid part of the time and hangs out with a group of friends up at school, none of whom happens to actually go to college. We are tired of hearing excuse after excuse for why she can't seem to get her act together, none of them particularly original or even believable considering that I paid my own way through college and mranegelmeg went to a very competitive engineering school.

So, after a long agonizing semester of prayer and hoping she would finally wake up and smell the coffee, we had to be the tough love parents. We are giving her this last semester, because we are contracted with the University tuition management system. After this semester she is on her own. If she really wants this education she will have to finance it on her own.

May God help her find her way, because we can't seem to guide her anymore. Please keep her in your prayers.

Pax

4 comments:

tom said...

Tough call here, but you did the right thing...I never got really serious about college until, back in the early 70's, I saw myself having to pay for it out of my own pocket...
Sometimes kids in this age set need to get hit in the head, gently, to realize that they are responsible for their own destinies, even though we have been great parents and almost given them too much....
My two sons were like this, and both decided to go to LA to try their luck..
They aren't rich or famous, but have grown up quite nicely..
Hang in there.

Tony said...

Of course your daughter is in our prayers. I flunked out of college the first time I went. Then I met my wife, and she made me want to be a better man, so I went to college nights and drive a truck during the day.

College means so much more when you have to pay for it.

Maureen Martin said...

I think you did the right thing.

Lee Strong said...

Sometimes we have to be tough for their sakes (speaking as the father of 3), but is it not easy.

I think you made the right decision.

I hope for her sake that it shockes her into more effort.

I'll keep you in my prayers.