Thursday, April 27, 2006

Balance Growth and Healing

There is something to keeping everything in balance when it comes to one's health. At times my life feels as though I am a plate spinner who lacks the timing to keep all the plates rotating at the same time. No matter how quickly I move that last plate teeters precariously and falls before I can get there to snatch it and get it spinning again.

I have decided it is time to retire some of the plates in my act. I have been trying to do too much. Mrangelmeg has been telling me this for over a year now, and so has my Dr. I thought that I could do everything; my job and the family commitments and schoolwork, and take care of myself. The problem is one of those plates keeps losing steam. It is only because I am not alone in any of these areas that I haven't lost any plates yet. The plate that seems to get left out most often lately is the taking care of myself and my family.

One of the scariest effects of the stress of trying to keep all the plates spinning is how damaging it has been to my overall health. I know that I am getting worse, not better. My energy level is shot, and my stamina is about half what it normally is.

I spent a wonderful evening today with the angelbaby (our youngest daughter). She will be going into 4th grade next year and they had a Spring open house so that we could go and check out the 4th grade rooms and teachers and decide which one she wants to be in next year. My first inclination was that I didn't want to go to this evening. My energy level was shot for the day, but I realized how much she wanted to go, and how important it was to her that I go with her to help her decide.

We had a very nice time talking to the teachers (some of whom have had her older siblings) and discussing the merits of each teacher's classroom pets and teaching styles. In the end she realized that she doesn't really have anything to worry about, because each of the 4th grade teachers had something that impressed her. She will be happy in any of their classes. It was a great moment of growth for her. When we wrote up our criteria for the school to use when placing her in a class next year, we stated just that: she will be happy in any of the teacher's rooms.

Had I selfishly been concerned with only my own needs tonight I would have come home from my exhausting day at my job and taken a nap, taken it easy and not gone to the Open House with the angelbaby. But then we would have missed the chance to grow into this decision about her future, and I never would have realized that my family is much more important to me than my job ever was.

I think it is time to take that career plate down for a while and refocus my energy into keeping that family plate spinning.



Jennifer said...

This is a female epidemic, isn't it? Doing too much-itis? Or inflammation of the doing too much.

At a certain point I feel like activity and goals have their own energy--like the more I do the more I get done.

And then other times I feel completely burnt out.

Usually, as it has recently, ending in a health crisis or a whole string of them.

Its tough and what balances you on Thursday can unbalance you on the following Tuesday.

You have to be constantly in touch with God on that, I think.

Enjoying your blog--forget how I ran into it, I think from Mark Mossa?

Suzanne said...

Sometimes when I want to do this or that, I look around and family is what I want most of all. I look around and I say...I wanted this, I prayed for this, family is here and now and they go, grow, move on so fast. I can be with them and I can also pursue anything I want to study and learn about...right here. I still take a day a week for "me" because that is for sure good for "them" too and because I homeschool them. Sometimes I want more time to read, but then, I don't because I want to build memories too. Just today, Anne Root and I were chatting about recalling sitting on the sofa with our moms and leaning our head over and watching movies together. I realized that even though I have been right here and spend so much time with my children, I have not spent enough memory making...not really. I think they sit on the sofa more together than I sit with them like mom and I... I know you aren't like that because I know ya'll spend tons of time watching good movies together. Just some thoughts after reading your post here! I hope your feeling better...maybe a "sabbatical" or something like that??? You are still a young babe! :) Younger than me!