In just a few short hours I will be giving a talk to a room full of women. It is a talk on a subject that I hold close to my heart: the mystical pathway to God. I am well prepared, and don't really have any trepidation about giving this particular talk, and yet I am sitting here fervently hoping no one shows up to hear me!
The first time anyone asked me to talk in front of a group I was stunned that anyone felt I had anything of value to share. Since then I know with no uncerntainty that I do have nothing of value of my own to share, but when I can become an empty vessel, that the Holy Spirit can use to get across some information or other, I have become a willing speaker on topics that I have discerned are ones God would like for me to be a mouthpiece.
So, In just a minute or two I will close my office and go to spend some quiet time in the adoration chapel emptying the last bit of ego I might have that this talk has anything to do with my intellect or my knowledge of the subject matter. Then I will pray that God will fill my mind and heart with the words that this group of women need to hear to bring them closer to His loving heart in their journey of discovery.
After that I will go to Mass and receive the Eucharist: Body Blood Soul and Divinity of My Lord who sustains and strengthens me. So that I can truly become one in body with the women to whom I will be speaking this evening. And then I will pray with the team of women who have worked for months preparing every aspect of this night, from the food to the table discussion to my little section of the entertainment.
And then, if anyone has decided to come and hear what God has decided to allow me to say, I will give a talk.
Gee, when I write it all out like that, it doesn't sound the least bit intimidating. Why then do I feel as though my knees have turned to jelly?