When I woke up this morning I knew it was going to be my day. I had slept through the night for the second night in a row and woke up feeling amazingly rested.
Then I went online to check my email and lo and behold what did I find?
I am the winner of three (count them 3) European Lotteries totalling 10 million Euros, which I am guessing is a whole bunch of money. All I have to do is email back and give them tons of personal information and they will transfer the money right into my bank account. Dang I guess it is about time I set up one of those bank accounts if people are so anxious to give me money.
Then I had at least four people who were concerned with whether I am satisfied with my, ahem, well, intimate activities. I tell you I nearly blushed when I read those emails. I was a little confused though because two of them told me that I could increase the size of, well, a piece of anatomy that I don't personally have, but I am sure they were being sincere.
I also received an email from someone who wishes to date me, only I hate to break her heart, but I don't date women. The poor girl, she sounded so needy and desperate. I guess she must be if she is emailing women for dates. Besides that, mrangelmeg would really frown on my dating anyone.
Then I was told that I could make tons of money on some stock that is coming out soon. I hate to turn that one down, but we just don't have the room in our back yard for any stock. We barely have room back there for our puppy, I can't imagine how we could manage to make that back yard a stock yard.
I also got four e-cards from 1) a colleague, 2) a schoolmate, 3) an admirer, and 4) a close friend. None of them had names on them though, so I didn't open them. Besides since I am not working I don't have any colleagues, and I hated high school, so I can't imagine anyone from there who would be sending me an e-card. I don't trust admirers who won't tell you who they are, and the only close friends I have would use their names on e-cards. It sure is nice to be loved though even if it is by strangers.
So you see, it isn't even 9:30 in the morning and I am already rich, have tons of friends, and people who are concerned about me.
I am truly blessed.