Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Road to Holiness

I have been struggling a bit lately with someone.

I know, you are all amazed that I, angelmeg struggle with relationships.

There is someone in my life, a friend actually who happens to have a very strong personality. She can be downright overwhelming at times. She has a tendency to want to control every situation.

For instance when we go out to lunch, she will tell me what to order. Knowing that I have food issues because of my many allergies, I at first saw this as a kindness on her part. Often the last few times this has happened though I have seen this as an intrusion.

In other areas of my personal life though I have found that her "helpful suggestions" are almost commands that I do things in a way that she wants me to, even to the point of trying to strongly dissuade me from applying for a certain job for which she thought I was not suited.

I still value her friendship in many ways, but I struggle with where her intrusions into my personal life should end. To that end I have found myself talking to other friends about her in a not so charitable way. This I find to be very uncomfortable.

I began to pray about this situation over the weekend, and today's scripture passage from the Office of Readings spoke to my heart about this situation. I wanted to share it with you all.

By obedience to the truth you have purified yourselves for a
genuine love of your brothers, therefore, love one another constantly from the
heart. . . .

So strip away everything vicious, everything deceitful;
pretenses, jealousies, and disparaging remarks of any kind. Be eager
for milk s newborn babies -- pure milk of the spirit to make you grow unto
salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

Come to him a living stone, rejected by men but approved nonetheless,
and precious in God's eyes. You too are living stones, built as an edifice
of spirit, into a holy priesthood, offering
spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus

1Peter1:22 . . . 2:1-5

I have never been a big one for the Litany of Humility, but I do see that getting angry at this woman's constant need to control everything is a very destructive response on my part. I need to let this all go. I need to let go of the hurt I feel and do what God wants in each situation keeping in mind that as helpful as my friend is trying to be, I am fairly certain she isn't God.

The road to holiness will be filled with a lot of opportunities to allow myself to let go of small hurts, received because of "helpful suggestions" from well meaning friends. Today's reading reinforced for me that I can do that and remain friends with her.


1 comment:

Suzanne said...

Personalities often clash, but that does not mean we don't love one another way down deep. I just got into another horrid argument this weekend with a loved one...I don't understand these things at times, but like you, I don't want to be uncharitable and down deep, I don't think she does either, but we do clash on certain things. I don't know if this is the grouping buddy you referred to earlier when I asked you about finding one, but if it and you would like to join another group, please feel free to come to our group on Friday. We aren't perfect, and sometimes we may seem a bit on the uncharitable side too...everyone is human, but I feel that you will be most welcome. We have been molding into a better group and have some boundaries set about how we respond or react to one another, but they aren't too horrendous! LOL! I hope you will consider anytime you wish. You are going through some things in your life, like with mom's disease and we need one another at times like this. I know for sure that the three of us have been praying for you in all of that. Let me know...or Sue or Anne. God bless you, friend.