an excerpt from Sacrament of the Present Moment:
God's order and his divine will, humbly obeyed by the faithful, accomplishes this divine purpose in them without their knowledge, in the same way as medicine obediently swallowed cures invalids who neither know nor care how. Just as it is fire and not the philosophy or science of that element and its effects that heats, so it is God's order and his will which sanctify and not curious speculations and its origin or purpose.
To quench thirst it is necessary to drink. Reading books about it only makes it worse. Thus when we long for sanctity speculation only drives it further from our grasp. We must humbly accept what God's order requires us to do and suffer. What he ordains for us each moment is what is most holy, best and most Divine for us.
If the divine will ordains that reading is the duty to the present moment, reading achieves that mysterious purpose. If the divine will abandons reading for an act of contemplation, that duty will bring about a change of heart and then reading will be harmful and useless.
I am just saying, it may be that God has ordained that reading Newman might be harmful and useless for me and I should abandon it for a more useful pursuit, like hours of silent wordless contemplation, or even going to Confession.