When I am confronted with a difficult siutuation in my life I will eventually need someone to help me to assess the situation and determine a plan of attack, so that I can move forward on a firm footing.
I will eventually need someone to look at the situation and help me to see how I could have used humility and patience and temperence and avoided the situation all together.
It would be nice to have someone to help me to see how I can use the hurt that I am feeling to grow into a better person.
But really, what I need in those first shocking moments as I am staring at the rubble of a disasterous outcome; when everything that I have come to believe to be true has crumbled around me, what I really and truly need is for someone to put their arms around me and just be there with me in my pain for a minute. Empathy is a great gift.
All those other things can wait, getting through the pain is really necessary, and only someone who is willing to be with you in that painful moment can really be of any help.
I am learning this about my own needs, and I am trying to learn how to be this kind of person for my friends. Not someone who fixes, or arranges, just someone who hugs, and wipes away tears, and listens. There are moments in life when there is no greater gift, I have found.