Tuesday, May 24, 2005

A Better Version of Me

Thank John Henry Cardinal Newman for my thoughts today. A reflection on today's gospel by him in was in my email inbox this morning and it really made me think.

I have been stagnant in many areas of my life of late. I have been striving so hard to be the student and be good at my job, that I have let the home fires nearly go out. I rationalize by saying that I have never liked to cook, so the kids really don't mind that I don't cook dinner very often. So long as we have clean clothes to wear who cares if the laundry never really gets caught up? Something has to give in my busy life and housework is the thing that has taken a backseat lately.

Somehow today's reflection really got me thinking. If Jesus is calling me to be the best version of myself, wouldn't that include every area of myself? Not just those parts that other people see, but the parts that only my family see. Even the parts of my life that I don't even let my family see need work.

How can I be the best version of myself, the person that Jesus intended me to be from the moment of my creation, if I am not willing to put every ounce of effort into every area of my life?

I am realistic enough to know that I won't become this new person overnight. I also know that just saying I want to change these areas of my life won't be enough, I have to back up my words with actions. Each day I am going to begin by thinking of one or two things I can do that day that will bring me closer to that reality, and then I am going to do them.

Today my two things will be to take a walk while my daughter is at her softball practice. I had planned to sit in a chair and read my textbook, I can walk and read just as easily and the walking will be better for me. The second thing will be to finally clean up around the desk in my bedroom office. I have been saying I need to do that for at least two months but I never seem to get it done, today is the day.

I will tell you how it goes tomorrow.


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