Thursday, September 27, 2007

When It All Feels Like Too Much . . .

I am sitting here at my computer trying to begin one of my essays, but I am completely devoid of anything pertinent to say on the subject of Heresies in the ancient church. I am also waiting for return calls from my mother's lawyer and nursing home. I am also waiting for the delivery of a mower that mrangelmeg sent out to be fixed, which is supposed to be delivered this morning.

My suitcase is on the floor beside my chair, still half-packed from the two day car ride with-funeral that I just returned from Tuesday. That might be a good thing because most of the clothes that are still in the suitcase are clean: I will just tell mrangelmeg that I am getting a head start on my packing for the weekend. I am taking a short trip to visit friends and spend Saturday researching for my papers in my Gradual School Library (an award winning piece of architectural beauty I might add). Yeah, I am just starting to pack early.

Mrangelmeg informed me last night that he will be gone part of the next two weeks, and I should get used to this pattern because for the foreseeable future this is his life; he will be home long enough each week to pay bills and exchange his clothes for clean ones and hopefully attend Mass as a family before he will be off again. The bright side is that he will be racking up tons of frequent flyer miles I suppose.

I know that we are told that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I have often said (and really feel this way at this moment) that my shoulders must look a lot more broad and strong from his perspective in heaven than they actually are. I am feeling slightly overwhelmed at this moment.

And yet, the Office of readings this morning was again from the book of Wisdom:

For Wisdom is mobile beyond all motion,
and she penetrates and pervades all things by reason of her purity.
For she is an aura of the might of God

and a pure effusion of the glory of the Almighty;
therefore nought that is sullied enters into her.

For she is the refulgence of eternal light,
the spotless mirror of the power of God,
the image of his goodness.
And she, who is one, can do all things,

and renews everything while herself perduring;
And passing into holy souls from age to age,
she produces friends of God and prophets.
For there is nought God loves, be it not one who dwells with Wisdom.

For she is fairer than the sun and surpasses every constellation of the stars.
Compared to light, she takes precedence;
for that, indeed, night supplants,

but wickedness prevails not over Wisdom.
-Wisdom 7:15-30

I suppose that the Wisdom I received this morning is that when it all seems like too much, stop trying to do it all by yourself. I will rely upon Wisdom (a woman you will note from the text) and leave my cares in God's capable hands. I am sure She can handle them much better than I can.

Maybe what I need right now is a nice cup of tea.



Jenny from Chicago said...

Holy Crap (in the trascendental sense). I know that feeling. You will get through this tough time and if I may offer this one little bit of advice...take the easy way out when it's all on your shoulders. Dinner from a box and shortcuts at bathtime are all valid when your overwhelmed. You will get through this!! Prayer and perspective is all it takes.

Paul Stokell said...

For one crazed moment I thought that read:
For Windows is Mobile beyond all motion

I've been on this computer too long.

Hang in there!