Thursday, March 10, 2005

It's Twice as Hard When it Goes Both Ways

The other day I went to see my oldest daughter at her university. She was in a play. My mom happens to live in the same town, so I stopped by her house for a visit on my way. Mom pretty much ignored me and watched a movie on television. Even though I know that she has Alzheimers it still hurts when she does that. I guess I haven’t come to terms with losing my mom yet.

I finally just got up and left. Better to not be there than to be ignored.

Then I went to my daughter's play and while she did say hi after the play was over, she really wasn't into the idea of even going for coffee. It almost felt like she couldn't wait for me to leave. That hurt a little too. I took off work early and made a special trip to support her and it really didn't seem to matter that I was even there.

Oh, she was wonderful, by the way. Her performance was really good. Unfortunately the lines she had to say left something to be desired. Why do young women (this was a student written play) feel as though they can write convincingly about how married couples talk with each other. Way too much metaphor and exposition in thier dialogue I thought. All in all though I thought that the story was really good. It was about a crisis of faith and how a couple comes to make it through a rough time in their relationship.

I guess the hardest thing about that experience is that both my mom and my daughter are moving away from me at that same time.

Hmm, what is God trying to teach me in this? Now there is a question for some contemplative prayer and discernment. My spiritual director would be pleased that I could see this as an area for growth for me.


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