Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Not Getting the Message the First Time

Why is it that I have such a hard time listening to God and learning what He wants to teach me the first time I hear it? It never fails that I will hear some great piece of wisdom, and at the time I will even know that it is meant for me from God and I should make note of it and learn from it. Then I go along and go right back to living the exact way I was before the great revelation.

What happens next is I get myself into a situation where if I had just remembered the lesson God so willingly tried to teach me before I needed it, I would be fine. Since I didn't learn the lesson when it was freely offered, I wind up in a big mess where my human brokenness gets in the way of my seeing the right path. I usually get my feelings hurt, or become so angry that I am incapable of doing the right thing.

When I am completely flattened, demoralized and crushed and cry out to God, He lovingly teaches me again the humility, patience and steadfastness that He tried to teach me before I needed it. This time I get the lesson loud and clear and change my life accordingly.

You would think that after going through this process time after time I would eventually see the pattern of the lesson offered well before I need it, and begin to learn earlier so as to avoid the pain of having to learn it the hard way. Any sane person would be able to see this pattern, don't you think?

I think in my case, somehow I am just not spiritually mature enough to think ahead and say "Gee, if God is trying to teach me this great lesson when things are just fine, it must mean that I will need it soon." My response ususally is "Wow isn't that cool, sure hope I never get into that situation."

Oh, well, If God didn't love me so much He wouldn't bother trying to teach me either way, right? It is my own fault that I have to learn the hard way instead of the easy way. Next time I am going to try to learn the lesson on the first try, so that when the bad times come I will see them and know what to do.

Hey, stop laughing! It could happen.


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