Christmas Baking

So I spent the day baking.  For those of you who know me, you know that I really hate to cook, so this was not helping me get into the Christmas Spirit.  In fact, I think my Facebook Status today might have said Fa la la la la de freakin' da.   


In honor of everyone doing so much baking I wanted to share a post from my beloved husband mrangelmeg;  This goes back to 2005.    Enjoy:


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This all began with an inocent enough request from a friend of mine for a recipe for Persimmon Cookies from my husband's mother. The following is what she got in three email exchanges. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Mrangelmeg is a genius, and very funny, and I love him dearly.

Part I: Here is my Mom's recipe for Persimmon Cookies:

1 cup persimmon pulp 1 teaspoon baking soda (not powder)

1 cup sugar (it used to be 2 cups, but since you're so sweet, 1 cup is enough)

1/2 cup margarine or butter (Mom just uses stick margarine)

1 egg 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon cloves (I asked Mom to pick one and she said she uses somewhere in between. I guess that means 3/8 of a teaspoon)

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 1 cup chopped walnuts (Mom had an option to substitute raisins for the walnuts. She has never put raisins in persimmon cookies, but if you want to go ahead and ruin a perfectly good batch of cookies, feel free to use raisins)

Instructions: Beat persimmon pulp thoroughly. Mix in soda. In separate bowl, cream sugar and butter/margarine, then add egg and mix thoroughly. Sift together dry ingredients and mix into creamed mixture. Combine all ingredients and drop by teaspoon onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes.

Mom reminded me that this was for one batch and she always makes a double. She further reminded her engineer son - no fewer than three times - that in order to make a double batch, you need to double the above ingredients. Since you have the PhD, I'm only telling you once.

You can freeze persimmon cookies to enjoy later ... say when we might be back at St. Meinrad again. If you freeze them, or leave them out for a few days, they will turn from reddish-brown to almost black. They still taste as good.

Part II: Raisins and Persimmons

And, for the record, I like raisins, too ... but only in oatmeal-raisin cookies (2nd favorite), raisin bran, and raisinettes ... as God intended them to be. Raisins do not belong in persimmon cookies. I even have scriptural backing on this from the Book of Raisins found in Codex XIII from the recently discovered Nag Yerhubbi Library (the Nag Yerhubbi Library also includes "The Gospel of Trash" and "The Apochryphon of the Leaves").

A fragment of the surviving Book of Raisins text was originally interpreted as: "... thou shalt not combine the dried fruit of the vine with other fruits ... ... verily I say: excessive combining of fruits will bring about the people of the village." Of course, now we know the end of that sentence should have been translated as "The Village People."

Regardless of translation, raisins are not to be combined with persimmons. Speaking of discovering ancient religious texts, another little-known fact is that Rastafarians actually discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls and were told by the Jewish scholars of the day that God's Word could be found inside the scrolls, also known as the rolling papyrus, or more to the point ... rolling papers. And that is how they got their start.

I just heard that on Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" on the way into work this morning, so it must be true. Feel free to cite any of the above research in your coursework; and have a nice day!

Part III: Further Research

The Nag Yerhubbi writings as the Neuter-o-Canonical apocrypha (apocrypha meaning "hidden away" or secret -- so don't be surprised if even your professor hasn't heard of them). They're also sometimes referred to as the Canon-and-on-and-on-ical Scriptures.

As hidden as they may be, I'm sure that John has heard many of the Nag Yerhubbi volumes proclaimed in his household ... perhaps "The Exegesis on the Toilet Seat" being one of the most cited books. Certainly, John is familiar with the longest book, "Litany of the Honeydew," the first Chapter of which begins: "Now that you're retired, maybe you could help out some around here."

On a historical note, the scribes that copied the sacred texts would meet about once a month and painstakingly copy each letter. Some would write so hard, they would even get cramps. Of course, the Nag Yerhubbi texts were not written on scrolls, but on individual sheets of paper and bound into large books, called Codexes, as at Nag Hammadi. The blank sheets were manufactured in pad form, similar to paper pads we have today, but the Nag Yerhubbi paper was much, much larger than the pages found at Nag Hammadi. Thus, the Nag Yerhubbi scribes called their paper source the Codex Maxipad. I know a few more historical details along these lines, but enjoy sleeping indoors far too much to list them here.

Finally, the Nag Yerhubbi documents will not be hidden much longer, as the Lifetime Network plans to feature them as part of a miniseries about all Old Testament and early Christian scriptures. The first episode is being shot right now and the working title is "The Burning Bush" featuring Farrah Fawcett as a young Moses (a stretch, but this is the Lifetime Network after all). The final release title is expected to be "Torah! Torah! Torah!" which ends with Pat Morita starring in the role of Joshua as he plans the sneak attack on Jericho. The scripts for the Nag Yerhubbi segments have yet to be written, but I'm sure the Lifetime Network will portray the men as kind, caring, and sensitive (that has to be the least believable line of this entire thread).

I think that's all I can safely say about the sacred texts in the Nag Yerhubbi Library; I'm already at risk of a discovery any day now at Nag Damaggi.


Pax

There is a Balance in the Force (at least for now)

Mrangelmeg made it home safely from his sojourn out west; well at least he made it home safely, his bag was a little late in arriving, having missed the connecting flight from ATL. The airline promised that it would be delivered to our doorstep by morning, but there was a bit of a panic because he was without a toothbrush (I found a spare unused one in the bathroom cabinet) razor (I had a few extra that I had purchased in California because I forgot to pack mine) and unfortunately, well unmentionables.

Being the methodical engineer type, and knowing that he was going to be away for over a month, he had packed evrey pair of underwear for his trip. Which meant that when he got home the only pair he had was the pair he was wearing when he walked through the door.

Just in case. before we went to bed last night I did a load of whites, and stayed up to make sure they got into the dryer so that he would have his one pair of undies clean for today. Of course, just my luck, the suitcase was delivered just after I put the white load into the dryer at One-twenty-five A.M.. Lucky for me that I was also watching the replay of Top Chef Los Vegas at the time so I didn't really mind so much that I was dragging a suitcase into the house.

Oh, by the way, his suitcase was four pounds overweight and it cost him $90 extra on Southwest. So be careful how you pack guys. That's how they get ya!

I am so happy to have him home, even if he does have to fly off next week for a quick trip to Pax River for a meeting. At least that one is only over night. Hopefully it will be months before he has to be away for longer than a night or two.

Pax

I Thought It Was So Perfect . . .

Last week I got a new purse. I got it for free actually because I took the angelbaby to get a new outfit for her graduation from elementary school from Kohl's and got Kohl's Cash in exchange which had to be spent at Kohl's, but was like getting the purse for free because I used the Kohl's cash to pay for the purse so it didn't cost me anything extra.

I brought the purse home, a cute little Daisy Fuentes bag with only one pocket and a snap in the front. I am determined to only carry the absolute essentials in this bag so I wanted a very small purse to keep me from carrying anything I didn't absolutely need.

after a week, I still really like my purse, but the essentials just barely fit, and there is no room to spare at all. Every time I take something out or put something back I have to rearrange everything to get it closed, and I have to hang my keys on the outside with a carabiner (which I intended to do anyway for short periods, but meant to be able to put them away for longer stretches of time).

The other obvious flaw I have found is that there is no cell phone pocket. I have to wedge my cell phone into a small space between my little journal I carry and my billfold and when I get a call I have to open my purse and extract the phone to answer a call. That is really too bad.

Oh well, I should know better by now. I have written about this phenomenon before . I just hope I can live with the flaws long enough to justify having this purse even though it didn't cost me anything because I really don't think mrangelmeg will like my going off to buy a new purse in a week or two with the excuse that I didn't pay for this one. He doesn't understand how Kohl's cash works, because to him I had to pay $150 dollars (what I spent on the angelbaby's clothes) to get the "free" purse, but what does he know.

Pax

The Next Time Someone Asks . . .

where mrangelmeg has gone . . .

(as you know he is on a month-long business trip to California) Every time I go somewhere where people are used to seeing us together or seeing the entire family, I invariably get the question "Where is that guy?"


I am getting a little bored with having to explain that he is on another of his extended trips, so I sent out a request in my facebook status for some more random, clever or funny answers I might use to answer that question and mrangelmeg rose to the occassion and these are the ones he submitted overnight:


He went to take lessons at the D.B. Cooper School of Skydiving.


He's practicing for the Hide-n-Seek World Championships.


He went to Jupiter, Florida to earn a spot on the St. Louis Cardinals' roster. So far, the only thing he's earned is a court order to stay at least 300 yards away from Tony LaRussa.


He was muttering to himself about how the world would be better off if he'd never been born. His Guardian Angel, Clarence, showed up and said "Yep, you're right." I haven't seen him since.


He wants to see what he looks like on a milk carton.


He thought I told him to "go find yourself."


He went into the hall of mirrors three weeks ago and hasn't made it out. He's not lost, he just likes looking at himself.


He finally decided to chase his dream and is presently attending The Vidal Sassoon Academy of Cosmetology and Hairdressing in California.


The last time I saw him, he was driving his Toyota Tundra to the UAW convention.


He's trapped in a well somewhere and that bitch Lassie won't tell where.


Three words: Barnum and Bailey.


h/t to mrangelmeg for all the love I have in the world and for making me laugh this morning. I just wish I had read these before I had gotten my morning cup of coffee. Coffee splatter is a pain to clean up.

Pax