Christmas Letters

To all my friends who sent Christmas Letters with their cards this year:


I don't need to hear about all the wonderful trips to exotic places that you took last year. I didn't even make it out of town when the tornado came through. Hearing about how wonderful your trip to see your college roommate who is married to a Viscount in Europe made me very sad, because I can only see my college roommate on visiting days at the peni-uh-rest home.

I don't need to hear about how amazing your children are. It really hurts to have to read about Junior's second PhD when we are struggling and praying that the third time will be the charm and our Junior will finally graduate from elementary school.

I don't need to hear about the wonderfully romantic gift you got from your husband for your anniversary. My husband only celebrates our anniversary if it is raining too hard to play golf and there is nothing on any sports channel.

And telling me that you finally had your entire house remodeled, complete with all new furniture is just mean spirited when you know that we are still cooking on the "avocado" stove that came with the house and our decorating scheme is early Salvation Army.

When I finally get the time (and everyone is off probation) I will try to come up with one of these Christmas letters myself. There must be something about my life that would make someone jealous to read about.

Happy Holidays

Pax