I had a moment today at daily mass. Somewhere between the Gospel reading and receiving communion I became overwhelmed with emotion.
At one point I was caught up in an anamnetic euphoria at the thought of how infinite the cloud of witness was that were surrounding me. Perhaps because Father had chosen the wonderfully name dropping Eucharistic Prayer 1 I my mind's eye began to see the altar space fill up with all those who had gone before at the table of the Lord; among them the personal witness of my grandparents, and my father and the children that were lost to me through miscarriages who have joined the Church Triumphant. I felt so totally wrapped in love as the words of the prayer wove through this reverie.
As we drew close to reception of Communion, I had a quantum leap in my understanding of how we all become the Body of Christ through the reception of The Body of Christ in the Eucharist which unites us in a way that is so much more cosmic that it transcended and transported me into that Cloud of Unknowing. As I walked back from receiving I was uncontrollably racked with sobs of joy, tears streaming down my face.
When the Mass had ended, I left my parish community feeling such love that I had to stop and thank Father. Not knowing exactly what to thank him for I decided that thanking him for his homily (on not being judgemental) would be great. It was a great homily, but it would be silly to thank him for a transcendent experience. He was so humble he couldn't even accept thanks for the homilette, as he called it, because he was simply trying to work on his own stuff.
I am so glad that I had this experience, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm hoping that it doesn't become a regular occurrence. I don't think I could handle crying at every Mass. Oh well, maybe I should start carrying tissue just in case.
Pax
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4 comments:
I felt it..you..your moment right beside me. I wasn't sure what it was about.. I wasn't sure I should ask at that moment. I was just about to call or write to you on a note in Facebook and then I looked up and there was this..thank you for sharing..it is beautiful!
How beautiful! I'm so glad you had this experience. Thank you for sharing it.
I hope people might have a transcendent experience at one of my masses, but I would feel awkward being thanked for it. After all, I didn't do it! God takes care of that. Glad you had the experience! Saint Ignatius would say to save it up, because it doesn't happen everyday. He would also probably say it shouldn't, because then we'd take it for granted. But every once in a while helps, doesn't it?!
I realise the awkwardness of being thanked, but in all humility, there would have been no mass in which for me to have a transcendent experience without men like yourself who follow God's call into your vocation.
I thank Fr. all the time for Mass, for his insight, for his ministry, for the gift of his time. His dedication to his vocation is why I was allowed to have my moment.
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