Two-For-One

Today (as it happens every seven years ) mrangelmeg gets a two-for-one Super Special Holiday bonus in which he gets to celebrate both his birthday and Father's Day on the same day. The kids gave him a really cute Father's day card and added a Happy Birthday message.

Mrangelmeg has had greying hair for a few years now, and his hairline is a bit further back than it was when we first got married, but he still doesn't "feel old". The problem is, people look at him and make assumptions about his age that are quite unflattering. He has more often than he cares to admit been offered the "senior discount" at fast food restaurants. He used to get upset, now he just takes the drink or whatever it is without arguing.

He works with a man who is twenty years older than he is and has a similar look but to someone at all observant they look nothing alike, yet they have been mistaken for each other by shop owners when they are on travel together.

Anyway all of this is enough to make any younger man feel at least a little discouraged. But he shouldn't. He will always be a big kid at heart. He will always have a juvenile sense of humor. He will always be the guy I love, whose smile makes me go weak in the knees.

He is on his way out to play some golf and then spend the rest of the day with his dad. Oh, I forgot about that, someone mistook him for his dad's brother once. If he didn't have such a great sense of humor he wouldn't be the man I married.

Happy Birthday/Father's Day my love, may you have many, many more.

Pax

Lord Give us Your Words . . .

Mrangelmeg and I are going to give a talk tonight at RCIA on the Sacrament of Matrimony. We put together a short outline over the weekend when we were on our little getaway, so that we would have at least a few talking points down on paper, but I always like to leave room for the Holy Spirit when I give a talk.

Mrangelmeg on the other hand, (being the engineer and a very high J on the Meyers Briggs) would probably much rather have every word we were planning to say written out so that we just had to read it.

We want to start with a short introduction of us; how we met, how important faith hope and love have been to us in our marriage, and that we don't begin to understand why our marriage works we are just happy that it does.

Then we are going to go into the sacrament as we have come to understand it over the last 26 years. Then we will leave time for questions which with God's help we will be able to answer.

Send up a quick prayer for us. I am used to these kinds of talks. Mrangelmeg is more used to presentations to government and military personnel. This is almost uncharted territory for him and he is venturing there at my request. Now that is a true partnership.

Pax

NOTE: Our talk went quite well last night. We were relaxed and got our points across really easily and with humor and grace I believe. The group was very receptive which helped a lot. Thanks for your prayers. There were more than a few young married couples and soon to be married couples in the group, so I hope they can gain a little from hearing the story of our journey.

Shock and Awe

Mrangelmeg came home tonight and informed me that we are leaving tomorrow evening at 4:30 for a Valentines day trip to Brown County.

We will be staying at a The Cornerstone Inn in downtown Nashville overnight, and then spending the morning together in Brown County and driving to Indy to eat lunch at my favorite steak place The Ram . Then of course we will be just a hop skip and jump from the Godiva Boutique in Circle Center so we will have to stop there.

He made all these plans just for little old me.

Wow, now I guess I have to shave my legs, I mean it is the least I can do.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Pax

This Might Turn Out to Be Interesting

So mrangelmeg is away at his final (almost, he actually missed one so he has a make-up one to take in the spring) Masters Class this week in Indianapolis, which happens to be where I have to go for my class today.

Since the older kids are old enough to take care of the angelbaby and have volunteered to make sure she gets on the bus and make sure she gets her homework done and feed her dinner and stuff, I am going to stay over night with mrangelmeg tonight for a little getaway.

Last month I just waited at the place where I had class till he got out of class and I left my car there and he came over and picked me up. This time though I get out of class at noon and he doesn't get done till after 6, so I have to drive down into downtown Indy (which I hate) to the hotel on my own and get a key from the desk and check into the hotel and hang out for the afternoon and wait for him.

I was going to go straight over, but I think I will go visit my mom at her nursing home and then go over to the hotel. I just hope they remember that I am coming. When a woman shows up at the desk and demands a key to her husband's room are they going to be all Yeah Right who does she think she is!

This could be fun.

Pax

Happy Birthday Mrangelmeg

My charming and long-suffering spouse turns another year more distinguished today. Above is a picture he took for some sort of project for work. He was trying to look as though he knew how to actually do his job. I think the little smile was a nice touch.

We are going out to an Irish family pub for lunch so that he can come back and watch the St Louis Cardinals play baseball this evening. Then we will have cake and ice cream. So much excitement, I don't know if I can handle it!

The girls got him an absolutely HUGE bag of Peanut M&M's (I think it is the industrial size actually). He was very excited about that. We also got him the Eagles new album Long Road Out of Eden finally, I had promised it to him at Christmas when it came out, but every time I tried to get it at Walmart in our College town it was sold out. Finally the other day I thought to check the Walmart here and there were actually four copies. We also got him Lynyrd Skynyrd All the Greatest Hits (with a 14 minute live version of Free Bird no less). He was very happy.

All in all I think he will have had a very happy birthday when this day is done.

Pax

The Reality Is . . .

when mrangelmeg is taking a Masters Class called Statistical Analysis for Effective Decision Making (and way better him than me on that one) the same week as our 25th wedding anniversary he has to make the decision that . . .









I become statistically irrelevant. (at least for this particular week).

When you consider all of the concessions he had to make so that I could complete my Masters Degree, I have to give him some slack on this one.

Hey, it could have been worse, He could have been TDY somewhere else in the country this week. This way at least if his homework load isn't extremely heavy on Wednesday evening we might be able to go out to dinner.

God is in His Heaven . . .

and all is right with the world.

Mrangelmeg made it home safely from his TDY. Hopefully he will be able to stay at home for a while before he has to venture out again. We may not know until next week or so. The angelbaby was really struggling , but was determined to be awake when he got home. Lucky for her he made good time and was home well before midnight.

Have a restful Lord's day.

We are going to a Byzantine Liturgy presided at by one of my Gradual School Professors. He is a monk of the abbey attached to my Gradual School and an awesome liturgist so we are really looking forward to it. I will post more about that tomorrow.

Pax

Saying Goodbye

Mrangelmeg has to leave today to go back to his TDY. It is almost fitting that it is a rainy day, except that he has to drive through a storm for the first part of his trip south. We had a really nice week having him home, and he got to do some things around here that really needed to get done (like getting the license plates for the cars which expire tomorrow) and doing a bit of yard work thanks to some nice weather.

Everyone was happy to see him at Church. We even got to be the gift bearers for Easter Mass which was really nice.

But now he goes back to his work and we go back to getting along without him for a while longer. If everything goes as planned he should be back for a month at the end of April and then if things work out the way we hope the angelbaby and I will be able to join him for the next long trip because she will be out of school for the summer.

I am just walking in faith and keeping it all together. Things will work out the way they are supposed to despite our plans. Hopefully I will be able to get better sleep this time around while he is gone. I am going to try a few new tactics to get better result than I did the last time. We shall see.

Pax

GO Thursday Theology (of sorts): The Calculus of Love

This being Valentines Day I wanted to share the beautiful sentiment that my loving Engineer husband mrangelmeg gave me in the card that I found in my car this morning. That is our tradition --leaving valentines cards in each other's cars to be found as we drive off on our respective ways on the morning of Valentines day.

His choice this year was out of the norm for him, one of those sentimental cards (usually he goes for the funny ones) it read:

A chance meeting

became a smile

became a conversation

became a touch

became a kiss

became a knowing

Then inside it reads became a destiny.

below that he wrote (with a nod to Back to the Future)

Angelmeg, You are my Density!

Density id defined as the ratio of Mass to the space occupied.

And ever since our first date to Mass you have occupied all the space in my heart!

.'. You are my Density Q. E. D.

I mean, It just makes a my heart flutter to think our love is important enough to him to qantify it in a calculus problem. Now that means a lot coming from an engineer.

Hope your one true love puts his or her feelings to that much thought. Oh and he remembered the chocolates too.

Pax

This Just Wasn't My Morning

So I got up Early and got ready to take Daughter to school and go to Mass. First the garage door was frozen to the ground and wouldn't open, then the passenger front tire was low. I stopped at the gas station to put air in the tire but the valve on the pump was broken and all I ended up doing was taking even more air out of the already low tire. I was so scared of driving on it that I drove back to the house and made mrangelmeg take daughter to school.

This just isn't my day.

I went out and fed the puppy her morning meal and found that she had chewed a hole in her (pretty expensive) thermal blanket we just bought to keep her warm this winter. I had velcroed it to the floor of her dog house but she ripped it right out the first day. Now there are little pieces of the foil liner all over out there. I am so glad that she is an out door dog with all of the things she tears up.

Then, I remembered that I don't even have my computer. It has been crashing on average about twice a day so I finally took it to the shop yesterday and the nice man there said it would be at least three and probably five days before I could have it back. Five days without my computer! That will be like five days with my arm tied behind my back. I can't even sync my IPod and get new podcasts for five days! It wasn't until I was driving away from the shop that it ocurred to me that I hadn't done a sync that monring. ARGH!

Thanks to mrangelmeg, who graciously got my tire aired back up, I am not stuck here in the house all day -- and I will get a few loads of laundry done that would not have gotten done had I gone to morning mass. And I do have access to my son's computer when no one else is around (which is for about an hour a day). So I suppose even though things aren't going the way I would have liked them to go, all is not lost.

I just have to see the good in the day.

Pax

What a Disappointment

Mrangelmeg got through his course in Law and Public Affairs. He said he waited all week for the discussion about Monica Lewinski, but dang-it-all it never came up. Boy was he disappointed.

We are getting our first real snowfall here, and we are actually getting ready to decorate the house for Christmas, this being the third weekend of Advent. Rose Sunday is tomorrow and our decoration dispensation is over so we have to actually begin to get in the spirit.

So we are vacuuming and moving furniture and musical instruments and trying to figure out where to put the tree. Somehow the room that a few years ago had absolutely no furniture and could hold the massive artificial tree we purchased is now chock-full of furniture and musical instruments. How on earth did that happen. Oh wait a minute I forgot the first rule of home ownership "your house abhors a vacuum; any empty space will quickly be swallowed up with stuff. (credit George Carlin for that one).

Anyway, the goal is to have enough space cleared out by tomorrow to actually have room for the tree.

Stop laughing, it could happen.

Pax

For Mrangelmeg

We missed A Charlie Brown Christmas last night (it seems way too early in the year to be playing it I mean couldn't they have at least waited until December for gosh sakes).

So, in honor of my devoted husband I have posted a clip here of the intersection of his favorite Comedy show Scrubs and those great Characters from Charlie Brown's Christmas.

Be warned, this is definitely rated PG 13 for language and content. But it is really creative.





h/t to my pal Paul via facebook

Happy Thanksgiving Day

We were going to make my favorite thing this Turkey Day:

Reservations!

But mrangelmeg left it too late and we couldn't get in anywhere that was having a decent meal, so he bought one of those Gourmet Pre-cooked meals and is going to do everything for me.

I am banned from helping him (except to make the green bean casserole for #2 daughter who is autistic and loves it especially, it didn't come with the meal and must be made from scratch).

So, I have a whole day free to read a book that isn't assigned (I don't know what that feels like, I think I have only read four of those in four years). and lounge around watching Lifetime movies and reading the Fat Thanksgiving paper filled with Black Friday sales circulars for all the people crazy enough to go shopping tomorrow. I personally don't plan to shop tomorrow, but only because #1 daughter needs to borrow my car as we haven't replaced hers yet and she has to work a double shift at the restaurant tomorrow (probably big tips, I'm guessing).

I should get some good rest the next few days. I may even play some video games with the kids.

I hope everyone has a safe and healthy Thanksgiving.

Go Colts (8:15 tonight)

Pax

What is it Like Living With a Big Ball of Stress?

Ask my patient and devoted husband. He got up and took the girls to school this morning so I could sleep in because I got such lousy sleep last night. He edited my first essay and will edit the other two and has listened without complaint to all of my stressful external mutterings about how I am going to ever get these things together. I really don't think I could do this without him and I wanted to say that somewhere where he would be sure to see it.

Thanks for the lifeline. Without you I would be adrift out there somewhere still trying to figure out which first word to put on the paper.

Countdown till final essays are complete and turned in:

T -minus 28 days.

Pax

Just a Few Days Shy

October 10th marked the beginning of mrangelmeg and my 25th year together. I missed posting on that date because I was working on my final exam essays and didn't have time to post. Now that I have a few minutes here at gradual school before we all go out for the evening (mrangelmeg isn't here tonight but is driving down tomorrow so we can go out to dinner) I want to write something about how blessed I have been over the past 25 years.

The above picture is our engagement picture. We got engaged one month after our first date (those quiet engineer types work fast). We have a bit of disagreement over exactly when our time together begins. He counts from the night my mom made a big pot of chili for my sister's fiance's fraternity brothers to celebrate their college homecoming and he showed up for free food. I happened to be eating there that night as well because I wanted the free food.

We didn't say a word to each other that night. A week later I went to a party at my sister's fiance's fraternity and in an attempt to get away from the cigarette smoke (I had recently quit smoking and didn't need the temptation) I had ventured into the kitchen, where mrangelmeg was standing with a beer in his hand talking about, of all things, being a confirmation sponsor for a young kid from his home church. That led to a discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) of the local churches.

It turned out that we both hated the campus ministry parish, which I affectionately called "Our Lady of the Nuclear Winter". I told him that he should come to my parish for Mass the next Sunday. We hung around together the rest of the party and even went to the Midnight Movie (Rocky Horror Picture Show, good times) before I went home to my apartment alone.

On Sunday, I was coming down the stairs of the school (I taught 5th grade CCD) and he was standing at the bottom of the stairs. We went to Mass together (he liked my church as much as I did). Mom was at mass and asked us if we wanted to come to her house for breakfast. Being poor college kids we said uhm yes. After breakfast he drove me back to my place. On the way I asked him if he wanted to come to the party at my church that night in honor of the canonization of Maximilian Kolbe. (Franciscan parish, big deal). Even if it is a snore there will be free food, I added. He said yes and said he would pick me up in a few hours.

We went to the party which was decidedly not a snore, and the food was great. A week later we went on our first real date to a German Restaurant. The rest, as they say, is history (or our-story actually). One month later we were engaged. six months after that we were married.

I am complete because I am married to mrangelmeg. He is the only person who can keep me from going off the deep end. He loves me unconditionally, and challenges me to be the best person I can be (what God created me to be).

We are going to go out to dinner at a German Restaurant tomorrow night to honor our first date. Only this year he will decidedly have a better chance of getting more than a kiss goodnight (if you know what I mean - wink wink- nudge nudge).

Pax

One of us Got to Go Home

I am back at home for a few days. My mom is still in the special ward of the hospital where they will take great care of her until we find her a long term care placement in a dementia/Alzheimer's Unit.

She seems to understand that she will be in a place like this for the duration and has accepted it. I need to get back to being mom to my kids and wife to my husband as well as being her Power of Attorney, so now that I know that the place where she is in the hospital is taking good care of her I came home to do the sorting out of finding a long term placement for her. Tomorrow I begin to call facilities to see if I can find a bed and what I can do to get her squared away. I may have to go back up there as early as next week to get her settled in a new place but I am hoping that we can avoid placing her somewhere temporarily while we try to find a more permanent placement.

On the home front, mrangelmeg is back for five days before his next trip. This will become the regular pattern with his new position, the short hop travelling every week or so. I suppose now is as good a time as any to get used to it. I came home because I needed to have him as a sounding board and to help me make these decision in person because there is only so much I can talk over with him via cell phone.

It will be nice to spend a few days with him before I head back to deal with mom again. Besides that we are going to try to take a one day family vacation, all seven of us, on Saturday to a nearby theme park. Between now and then I have a lot of phone calls to make and stuff to deal with.

One whole day of vacation this summer. How did I get so lucky?

Pax

Mental Pause Moment #6 One of The Best Aides in the Struggle to Survive

This maddening roller coaster ride that we delicate women call "the change" has made me a horribly cranky, moody, over-tired, under- aroused, shrew the last few weeks. I know it can't be a picnic living with me. Heck there are times when I would give just about anything to take a vacation from myself.

One of the constant and steadying influences in my life these days has been mrangelmeg. Through all of the inner turmoil of what has been going on inside my body he has been there for me to complain to and talk things over with and try to figure out how to live through these changes without alienating all of my children.

I am so blessed to have him in my life right now. He can't possibly be excited about the prospect of having to live through my mood swings and my night after night of cold fish, lack of interest in anything but sleep. But he never complains. He is always there to try to make things a little easier for me. And he knows when it is better to just leave me alone.

If I didn't have him I can't imagine how I could survive. His love is a real stabilizing force.

Pax

Twenty-Four Years of Bliss

Today is the anniversary of the day mrangelmeg and I took our vows before God and the representative of the Church that sealed our vocation as husband and wife.

We celebrated by exchanging cards and gifts of chocolate (that is the traditional gift in our house) and we went out for lunch, because mrangelmeg is on his way out of town for the week on a business trip. This is probably the only anniversary we have ever had to spend apart in the entire 24 years of our marriage.

I think that each year we have been married our relationship has grown in ways that we would have never imagined when we were first married. We understand each other so much more than we did when we were younger, and we have lived through adversity and success.

I wouldn't say that we think alike now, because I will never understand why he drinks Mountain Dew or likes Country Music, (although I do like Keith Urban), but those are the things that make him the man that I love.

I hope that we have many more years together, so that I can explore all the other intricacies of his character, and grow to love him even more. And besides, in just 26 short years we have a date for dinner with the Archbishop of our Diocese (He honors every married couple in the diocese who have been married for at least 50 years with a Mass and Dinner) so we have that as a goal.

Pax

Saying Yes All Over Again

At times over the past nearly 24 years of married life I have asked mrangelmeg if he would be willing to renew our vows; on special anniversaries and when we were vacationing where they had those quaint wedding chapels in the mountains. Each time I asked he has always said "Why bother, they worked the first time." or "No need to fix what isn't broken." or some other quip equally dripping with romance.

We have actually participated in one renewal of vows ceremony at our church. I have the picture to prove it. It is one of my favorite pictures of us because it happened to be one of those winters when I had cajoled mrangelmeg into growing a beard and in the picture he has a beard and I don't look half bad myself. The picture was taken by a friend of ours who was playing "wedding photographer" for the evening's festivities that night at church. Each couple that participated in the Mass got a nice dinner and a photograph to commemorate the evening.

It has been many years since that time, and I had decided that it was easier not to ask anymore than to keep getting turned down. While mrangelmeg sees no reason to renew the vows we made all those years ago, I see nothing wrong with a refresher.

I suppose I look at it more as I do the renewal of promises that the Priests make at the Chrism Mass. Their Ordination made an indelible and irreversible mark on them, yet each year they stand before the altar of God and reaffirm the promises they made at that ordination. It isn't that the first promises didn't take, it is just that it doesn't hurt to make a public show of reminding ourselves about what is important.

I think it is really important that it be in a Mass as well. Marriage is a vocation. As one of my favorite Bishops says in his vocations prayer it is the source of all other vocations. When the Church begins to recognize and uphold the vocation of marriage and call for the strengthening of the vocation of marriage with the same vigor that it has been the vocation of the priesthood and religious life I think the vocations crisis in this country will vanish.

I will get off my soapbox now and get back to my point. Saturday evening mrangelmeg surprised me by registering us for a Marriage renewal service at our parish. He had mentioned it once before, but I thought he was joking because of his previous statements. I was pleasantly surprised that we attended, and we had a wonderful time.

The nicest thing of all though was looking into his eyes and telling him that I would still take him as my husband from this day forward, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, forsaking all others until death us do part. As I said those words I could see that 21 year old young man standing in the front of the church with me all those years ago. Little did we know then what those words would mean. If we can get through what we have been through to this point I think the safe money is on us.

But it was really nice hearing him say the words over again, because I know I don't much look like that young girl anymore. Heck I don't even feel like her anymore.

If you get a chance to renew your vows, take it. If you just get a chance to say to your spouse "I would marry you all over again today." do it. Don't miss an opportunity to say I love you in words and deeds.

Pax

Ballroom Dancing Denouement

Tomorrow is our last Ballroom dancing class for this Spring at the YMCA. To say that Mrangelmeg and I have enjoyed these classes would be such an understatement of how we have come to feel about our weekly trips to the dance studio.

It has enhanced so much of our relationship besides our confidence on the dance floor that it has been worth all of the hard work and embarrassment that we went through to get where we are at this point. Not to mention the sore feet and aching muscles. (That rhumba can kick the ol' fanny).

One thing that I have personally gained over the course of the training we have received, although I know I have a long way to go, and mrangelmeg will surely back me up on this, is my appreciation for how much I have to surrender to his lead, not only in dance, but in many other aspects of our relationship. If I listen more carefully to what he is trying to communicate to me I will be on much stronger footing.

When I am in doubt in a dance move I have been instructed by our teacher to close my eyes and trust that mrangelmeg knows what he is doing and will lead me where I am supposed to go. I have been trying to do that more often in other areas of my life as well. He sees my level of energy more clearly than I do and he is able to guage what I am capable of taking on much better than I am.

My Spiritual Director reminded me just this week that I have to work on my male authority figure issues, and I might as well let mrangelmeg be the one healthy authority figure relationship I allow myself to surreneder to in all things without question or debate or tantrums. I asked if I could at least pout, and he said that was negotiable.

Dancing has taught me that there can be only one lead. When I try to lead I throw off the balance of our steps, or mess up our timing. I am working on surrendering my need to be in control, and I think mrangelmeg has seen great improvement not just in our dancing but in other areas of our relationship as well.

I will miss our class at the YMCA, but I recently found out that our city Parks and Rec department has a summer Intermediate Ballroom class on Friday nights in June and July. If I tell him I need to work on my submission to his lead, do you think mrangelmeg will sign up for more dancing?

Pax