The Dirty Little Relationship Secret of Women and Purses

I have uncovered the root of the age old dilemma of why a rational woman can be in a monogamous relationship with one man for an entire lifetime but cannot remain faithful to one purse for longer than six months. Admit it ladies, we all have the pile of cast offs in the back of our closet to prove it.

A woman goes out and finds a purse that she absolutely loves, and for a short time that purse is everything she will ever need. Eventually though the purse's flaws begin to show; the cell phone pocket is on the wrong side, there is no place to secure a pen so everytime you need one you have to practically dump out the entire contents of the purse just to find one, not enough space for all your credit cards -- how on earth can you live with that -- I ask you?

After exhaustive discussion with many of my women friends, and looking over all of my stash of old purses for evidence I have come to a conclusion about why it is that women can't remain with one purse for the long haul. It is because we don't get to date our purses!

When we see a purse we like in the store we have to make a full time commitment to it. We don't get the chance to try it out for a while and see what flaws it might have before we decide to take it on. I don't know about the rest of you, but if I had had to make a decision about mrangelmeg on the first day we met, chances are he would have not made the cut, as cute as he was at the time it took a while for his charms to grow on me. On the other hand some of the guys I thought I really liked on that first look turned out to be really really not worth a second or third date (one wasn't even worth the first date, but that is entirely another story).

Yet, when we pick up that purse in the store and look it over and decide that it is the right color, or has the right kind of pockets and amenities we have to make a commitment to it. It is only after we are committed to it that we find out that it has flaws.

In a relationship with a person, you tend to learn their flaws before you make a commitment to them, and you can decide if you are willing to live with the flaws, or if you are wiling to put in the effort to help them overcome their flaws. Not so with purses. A purse has flaws that will never go away, so you just have to live with them, and they begin to grate on your nerves.

That is why a woman will put a perfectly good purse on the pile at the back of her closet at the start of a "new season" and go off to hunt for a new model. The old one let us down. We are looking for perfection.

I noticed in my research that I tend to buy almost the exact same purse, just in different colors each new season. It has a pocket for my IPod and another for my cell phone. It has a built in wallet and is medium in size. I considered for a moment just going back to one of my old purses when the latest one let me down, but as I looked through the pile all I saw were the flaws in the old ones.

Sigh, I suppose it is time to go out and try to find a new, perfect match. Maybe, just maybe this one will be exactly what I am looking for in a purse.

Hey, stop laughing, it could happen!

Pax

Another Birthday Gift

How lucky am I?  My birthmonth was over 12 days ago and I got a birthday present in the mail today.  One of my Gradual School friends sent me a book by Richard Rohr about Spirituality for the second half of life.

Now,  I realize I am getting older,  but I actually laughed when I saw the book.  The second half of life,  I guess that means I get to live to be 100 if I look at it with the most positive light, so I have that going for me.

On the serious side, I started reading it today and like other books by Fr. Rohr, it is very well written and talks about both halves of life, so I can still pretend to not have crossed over into the second half when I want to delude myself.

I will write a review of it when I finish reading it, which probably won't take long since mrangelmeg is off on one of his long trips and won't be around for weeks.

Pax

He's Baaack!

My childhood friend (I won't tell how old we are if he doesn't)  is blogging again at:

The Daily Oldman


His comics are slightly off and very funny.  

Enjoy, Oh and leave a comment if you dare.  You never know, you might find yourself a character in one of his future comics.

Pax

The Naughty List, Jack

The Naughty List, Jack

Living Will

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetativestate, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'


So, they got up unplugged my Computer and poured out all my wine.

h/t to my friend Diane via email

50 is Really Young

in Bishop Years.

Fr Paul Etienne, Bishop elect of the Diocese of Cheyene WY will be the youngest American Bishop when he is installed next week.

The Audible you Might have Missed from Monday Night Football

Peyton Manning called an awesome audible Monday night that surprized most of the Colts organization . . .





He contacted Jim Irsay, the owner of the team and asked if his friend Tiger Woods could be granted a sidelines pass for the game against the Dolphins.

It turns out that Tiger wanted to see the game and because of his, well, notariety the best place for that to happen without him being swamped by fans screaming "Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods Y'all" (that has to get really old) was going to be from the Colts sidelines.

Good thing that Tiger had a golfing buddy who happened to have some suction with the team and could hook him up.

picture credit IndyStar.com

Pax

It Has to Start Somewhere

I hate to admit it, but I am swiftly approaching that magic number birthday, when I will start to get all that wonderful mail from the old folks organizations. I hate to even mention it, but I will (gritting my teeth and closing my eyes)be 50 on my next birthday.

Wow, look at that, the world didn't even shift a bit, no portend of impending doom. I am just going to be officially one of those old people. I will no longer be able to call myself an "older young adult" and will have to start referring to myself as *gulp* "younger middle aged".

Anyway I have decided that I needed to do something momentous for my birthday. Something fitting the passage of time and something that will help me to feel like I am fully alive. Since I am much to sane to 1) jump out of a moving airplane, or 2) jump off of a stationary bridge, I decided that it would have to be something that would require all of my strength and determination. Some friends at the school where I volunteer are putting together a training team to run in the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini Marathon, so I have decided to join them, only I have no illusions that I will be able to run 13.1 miles by then so I am planning to walk the mini. Mrangelmeg is being so supportive that he signed up to run in it so that we can be there together (we will see each other before it starts and then he will be waiting for hours after he finishes for me to cross the finish line, but that is the kind of supportive spouse I have.)


This race is one that has thousands of participants every year. It is a huge deal around here.

I started training with my initial three-mile walk today. I was hoping for a pace of 18 minutes per mile. What I accomplished was 16.34 minutes per mile! Tomorrow I rest and then I walk again on Wednesday and Thursday. I rest again on Friday and then my longest walks are on Saturdays. By ten weeks I should be up to 13 miles on Saturdays. Then I rest a week and start the whole process over again.

After three rounds of training I will be totally ready for the race. And a natural by-product of all that training will be that I should be in pretty awesome shape in time for my 50th birthday, and then mrangelmeg and my anniversary which is just a few months after my birthday. So my deciding to give myself this mini marathon for my birthday will have benefits that will enhance the rest of our lives.

And it all started with my looking into the inevitable abyss of AARP membership applications.

How cool is that?

Pax

For my pals at Korrektiv

Pax

Probably Why Reading Newman Isn't for Me

an excerpt from Sacrament of the Present Moment:


God's order and his divine will, humbly obeyed by the faithful, accomplishes this divine purpose in them without their knowledge, in the same way as medicine obediently swallowed cures invalids who neither know nor care how. Just as it is fire and not the philosophy or science of that element and its effects that heats, so it is God's order and his will which sanctify and not curious speculations and its origin or purpose.

To quench thirst it is necessary to drink. Reading books about it only makes it worse. Thus when we long for sanctity speculation only drives it further from our grasp. We must humbly accept what God's order requires us to do and suffer. What he ordains for us each moment is what is most holy, best and most Divine for us.

If the divine will ordains that reading is the duty to the present moment, reading achieves that mysterious purpose. If the divine will abandons reading for an act of contemplation, that duty will bring about a change of heart and then reading will be harmful and useless.



I am just saying, it may be that God has ordained that reading Newman might be harmful and useless for me and I should abandon it for a more useful pursuit, like hours of silent wordless contemplation, or even going to Confession.

Pax

Who Knew I Had Such a Competitive Streak?

My old friend Mark is having a contest on his blog and I want to win and I need your help!!!!


Click on this link and leave a comment saying

angelmeg sent me to Oldman's.

If three people do this for me before three people do for anyone else I will win.

I can't believe I want this so much (well, not so much The Tuxedo, but the signed print I would love to have because I love his cartoons).

So, come one you guys, I only need three of you to go right over there and leave a message.


I WON!!!!! THANKS TO ALL MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH COMMENTS . I RECOMMEND THAT THOSE OF YOU WHO WENT THERE TO LEAVE THE ONE COMMENT BOOKMARK HIS SIGHT AND VISIT OCCASIONALLY. NOT ONLY ARE HIS CARTOONS HILARIOUS, BUT YOU CAN LEARN A THING OR TWO ABOUT MARTIAL ARTS AS WELL.
Pax

Cast Not These Pearls . . .

Last summer during our self imposed exile in Florida we fell in love with a comic strip called Pearls Before Swine that was a daily fixture in the local paper. Our plucky youngest child (the angelbaby) has missed it so that she not only found it in book form at our local library and has read every compilation in print, but she also found it on the net, and now can read each new strip as they are published since we don't get it in our local paper.

It is awesome in the most politically satirical, lowbrow humor kind of way that really tickles my funny bone and makes me laugh until I, well, embarrass myself in ways only women will understand.

Then, through the website we found out that Stephan Patis, the creator of this awesome strip actually has a blog!! You have to check this out! It is absolutely hilarious. Just as funny as the strip, and very informative about his process, which is great for someone who is a total geek about that kind of thing (the creative process I mean).

It has also given me the most awesome idea for the angelbaby's next birthday cake; I can't wait to order that Shalom Stan cake with a Menorah on it in the middle of May!!!!!! Don't tell her though, I want it to be a surprise.

I am adding his blog to my blogroll. A word of warning; don't be drinking any liquids while you read his entries. Trust me on this one.

Pax

I Feel So Much Better Now!

In my Calculus class in high school I wasn't stupid at all;

according to Calvin and Hobbes I was just a math atheist.

My rights were being descriminated against. Where was the ACLU when I really needed them?

h/t to Adoro for the link.

Don't Have Time To See A Whole Movie?

Is your life so busy that you just don't have time to see that movie that you have always wanted to see? Well this website I found takes the stress out of that decision by condensing the plot line of most movies down to less than a minute.

It is just the thing for the harried Twenty-first Century person.

This is the explanation directly from their start page:

Let's face it. There's a lot of movies out there and very little time
to watch them in. Well sit back and relax, because your troubles are solved! We
here at Movie-A-Minute have come up with a solution. We've taken several classic
and contemporary movies and extracted the important stuff, cutting out all the
filler. (You'd be surprised how much filler there is sometimes.) With our
ultra-condensed versions of your favorite films, you can experience whole movies
in just one minute! As an added bonus, Movie-A-Minute protects against torture
by bad movies -- if you don't have to sit through them, well, you don't have to
sit through them.

"That's nice," you say, "but I don't believe you." Yah
hah, skeptical soul! We've got our collection of ultra-condensed movies right
here! We've got everything from Gone With the Wind to Die Hard! See for
yourself!

Movie-a-Minute

Browse the titles and select your choice, click on the one you want and within a minute you will get the gist of the movie.

Personally I think Taxi Driver gets props for being short and poetic.



For some people (like mrangelmeg most of the time) that is about all he needs of most movies, unless it is a comedy or has Clint Eastwood or is about World War II -- Kelly's Heroes (which wasn't on their list by the way) is one he would probably recommend that you watch the whole movie.



Anyway, have a fun Friday.

Pax

16 Quirky Things Meme

Hal tagged me a while back with this and I am just now getting around to sitting down to think of things to write. It isn't that I can't think of 16 quirky things about myself to tell you all, it is more a case of the fact that most of you know me pretty well, and finding things you didn't already know took some thinking.

I am doing this today because I have a writing assignment due tomorrow and . . .

1) while I love to write, and hope someday to be a well known, published writer who can actually say she makes money from what she writes; when it comes to homework I will do just about anything, even housework to avoid writing.

2) I am the borg child (seven of nine -- get it?) in my family. I have four older sisters and two older brothers (making me seventh, ) and a younger sister and younger brother. We are all still alive, and while we don't see each other all that often I think we all still care deeply about each other.

3) I am a font of useless knowledge, which makes me a great team member when you are playing trivial pursuit or you need a phone-a-friend on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I attribute it to having insomnia and spending a lot of time reading or watching late night television.

4)A very good friend of mine was murdered when I was 12 years old. They never found his killer. I still have dreams about him to this day.

5) I lived in Hawaii for the summer when I was 15. My mom took us there the year after my dad died. It was a great experience and an extreme culture shock at the same time.

6) I received a Manager's letter in Wrestling from South my Senior Year. I was supposed to be a Cheer Leader, but somehow I got roped into keeping the book for the team at the meets. My book was more accurate than the scorer's table at a few of the early meets, so the coach made sit at the scorer's table and called me the Statistician and gave me a Letter for my trouble. My only regert is I never got to be in the locker room for the weigh-ins.

7) I am an introvert, and painfully shy. This will surprise a lot of people because I have forced myself to be outgoing especially since high school. I try really hard to include everyone because I know how much it hurts to feel left out.

8) I used to sing in a Jazz Acapella group. I really miss it.

9) I love ideas much more than details, which will explain why my house is usuallly a mess, and my husband is very detail oriented. Without him I would be totally lost.

10) I was engaged to mrangelmeg one month after our first date.

11) I have always wanted to try an open mike night in a comedy club.

12) I don't like to watch sports on television except good golfers and the Colts. I really don't like basketball, and can't stand auto racing.

13) I have never learned another language, much to my dismay.

14) I keep a basket with chocolates in it right beside my bed. I am a chocolatarian, it is a lifestyle choice, not an addiction.

15) I fall asleep listening to music every night.

16) I hate to cook, but have a few dishes that I know I can cook well for when company comes. If it weren't for microwaves and crock pots, my poor kids would starve.

Pax

How Bout Those Last Seven Minutes

I have discovered a way that I can scare up enough interest in the NFL playoffs. I just have to find something else to do until there is only seven minutes left to go in the game and then watch till the end of the game.

The last seven minutes of the Eagles Cardinals game was really pretty exciting, (sorry Mat -- my younger brother lives in Philly). I know my brother-in-law and my niece who are Cardinals fans from Phoenix are pretty happy.

I can wait until the last seven minutes of the Ravens Steelers game and do the same thing. Woo Hoo!

Then on Superbowl Sunday I can watch the commercials and skip the football until the last seven minutes, which will keep me safely away from having to watch "the Boss" at halftime (which I was so not looking forward to watching).

I can sit through seven minutes of just about any football game.

Pax

Now That's What I Call Taking Care of the Whole Patient

Monroe Hospital, the new for profit hospital not five miles from our house has had a really tragic situation happen with their phone listing in the recently printed and distributed phone books.

It appears that one of the main access numbers for the hospitals was misprinted in the local phone book, and the number that is there will actually link the caller to a phone-sex line.

Read the entire story here.

Mrangelmeg says they should just change their slogan to:

Monroe Hospital: We put the Ho in Holistic Medicine!

Pax

Reality Check

A sweet little fourth grader here at school just brought a book on the Beatles up to the check out desk. She was all excited and wanted to check it out because (and I am not making this up) "her Papaw' just loves that band best of all."


The librarian and I sat in stunned silence as I checked the book out, then we looked at each other and both blurted out at the same instant "Okay, I feel really old!"

Then we broke down into paroxysms of laughter that pretty much scared the rest of the kids in the library.

Granted I was four the year the Beatles came to this country and twelve the year they broke up, but her statement was a total reality check.

Pax

The History of Western Philosophy in Six Easy Questions

With a tip of the hat to my amazing daughter Katy who found this on the internet and sent it to me via facebook. She knows just how to make me laugh.

Pax