Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ghosts of Christmases Past

We went to Midnight Mass, and in a real departure for our family we even opened our presents before Mass so that we (meaning mrangelmeg specifically) could all sleep in this morning.   Well then, what am I doing up at quarter past why the heck am I awake?  Maybe it is the fact that unlike the last four or five years, we actually have snow this Christmas (boy have we had snow).  Maybe it is because this is the first Christmas since our oldest daughter moved so far away and she couldn't get back this year.  Maybe because this is the first Christmas since my mom died and I am really missing her.  But I am sitting here on Christmas morning and remembering absent family members and Christmases past.

We opened presents on Christmas Eve most years when I was little, because we went to Midnight Mass and we could all (meaning my dad specifically) sleep in on Christmas morning).  We always got crisp new jammies on Christmas,  they were never wrapped, but would magically appear on our beds somehow while we were eating dinner on Christmas Eve.  The Jammies were supposed to help us sleep better on that magical night.

On the occasions that we didn't open gifts on Christmas Eve,  we would still have gone to Midnight Mass, so our parents had a rule about when we were allowed to wake them to open presents in the morning.  We had to wait patiently,  or as patiently as nine anxious children could, until the streetlight out in front of our house went out.  it was then and only then that we were allowed to knock on their door and tell them the exciting news that we had already discovered;  Santa had been to our house.  

I remember waiting anxiously, sitting on the radiator by the front window in the living room willing with all my might that the light would go out.  We carried this forward for our children by telling them that they weren't allowed to wake mrangelmeg on Christmas morning until the security light in our driveway went out.  

On the sleep in mornings we were allowed to wake up any time we liked, but we were not allowed to wake or disturb our parents on Christmas morning.  We had to play with our newly received loot as quietly as possible.  This was always much easier for me, who usually got books than my brothers who got GI Joes or Rock-em Sock-em Robots or Slot Hockey games.   Inevitably, they would get really noisy.  

The lasting memory I have of those Christmases though isn't the gifts, but having the family all together.    One year, we went into Midnight Mass with just a few flakes wafting through the air, and came out an hour and a half later to a total blanket of white, that by morning was one of the worst blizzards the area had ever seen.   The snow was so deep that hardly anyone drove on the streets for days.   We lived about seven weeks from Church and the entire family, all eleven of us walked through the two feet of snow to Mass the following Sunday.  

Christmas was a time to be together.   Another of our spectacular Christmases was the year my oldest brother came back from his Naval posting to Okinawa to spend Christmas with us.  We were so happy to see him, and he decided to "share the wealth" with his military pay that year.  The very large living room seemed to be buried in gifts.  But we were so happy to have Mike back that our bountiful harvest didn't seem to matter.

Our greatest gift on Christmas was family, which isn't a surprise at all to me since the real gift of Christmas was the Christ child.   For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son.  The greatest gift of all was a gift of Divine Family. It's not the Christmas presents that we love so much, it is the Christmas Presence.

I think I will call some of my siblings today. 

Pax



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Baking

So I spent the day baking.  For those of you who know me, you know that I really hate to cook, so this was not helping me get into the Christmas Spirit.  In fact, I think my Facebook Status today might have said Fa la la la la de freakin' da.   


In honor of everyone doing so much baking I wanted to share a post from my beloved husband mrangelmeg;  This goes back to 2005.    Enjoy:


<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><


This all began with an inocent enough request from a friend of mine for a recipe for Persimmon Cookies from my husband's mother. The following is what she got in three email exchanges. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Mrangelmeg is a genius, and very funny, and I love him dearly.


Part I: Here is my Mom's recipe for Persimmon Cookies:

1 cup persimmon pulp 1 teaspoon baking soda (not powder)
1 cup sugar (it used to be 2 cups, but since you're so sweet, 1 cup is enough)
1/2 cup margarine or butter (Mom just uses stick margarine)
1 egg 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon cloves (I asked Mom to pick one and she said she uses somewhere in between. I guess that means 3/8 of a teaspoon)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 1 cup chopped walnuts (Mom had an option to substitute raisins for the walnuts. She has never put raisins in persimmon cookies, but if you want to go ahead and ruin a perfectly good batch of cookies, feel free to use raisins)
Instructions: Beat persimmon pulp thoroughly. Mix in soda. In separate bowl, cream sugar and butter/margarine, then add egg and mix thoroughly. Sift together dry ingredients and mix into creamed mixture. Combine all ingredients and drop by teaspoon onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes.

Mom reminded me that this was for one batch and she always makes a double. She further reminded her engineer son - no fewer than three times - that in order to make a double batch, you need to double the above ingredients. Since you have the PhD, I'm only telling you once.

You can freeze persimmon cookies to enjoy later ... say when we might be back at St. Meinrad again. If you freeze them, or leave them out for a few days, they will turn from reddish-brown to almost black. They still taste as good.

Part II: Raisins and Persimmons
And, for the record, I like raisins, too ... but only in oatmeal-raisin cookies (2nd favorite), raisin bran, and raisinettes ... as God intended them to be. Raisins do not belong in persimmon cookies. I even have scriptural backing on this from the Book of Raisins found in Codex XIII from the recently discovered Nag Yerhubbi Library (the Nag Yerhubbi Library also includes "The Gospel of Trash" and "The Apochryphon of the Leaves").

A fragment of the surviving Book of Raisins text was originally interpreted as: "... thou shalt not combine the dried fruit of the vine with other fruits ... ... verily I say: excessive combining of fruits will bring about the people of the village." Of course, now we know the end of that sentence should have been translated as "The Village People."

Regardless of translation, raisins are not to be combined with persimmons. Speaking of discovering ancient religious texts, another little-known fact is that Rastafarians actually discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls and were told by the Jewish scholars of the day that God's Word could be found inside the scrolls, also known as the rolling papyrus, or more to the point ... rolling papers. And that is how they got their start.

I just heard that on Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" on the way into work this morning, so it must be true. Feel free to cite any of the above research in your coursework; and have a nice day!

Part III: Further Research

The Nag Yerhubbi writings as the Neuter-o-Canonical apocrypha (apocrypha meaning "hidden away" or secret -- so don't be surprised if even your professor hasn't heard of them). They're also sometimes referred to as the Canon-and-on-and-on-ical Scriptures.

As hidden as they may be, I'm sure that John has heard many of the Nag Yerhubbi volumes proclaimed in his household ... perhaps "The Exegesis on the Toilet Seat" being one of the most cited books. Certainly, John is familiar with the longest book, "Litany of the Honeydew," the first Chapter of which begins: "Now that you're retired, maybe you could help out some around here."

On a historical note, the scribes that copied the sacred texts would meet about once a month and painstakingly copy each letter. Some would write so hard, they would even get cramps. Of course, the Nag Yerhubbi texts were not written on scrolls, but on individual sheets of paper and bound into large books, called Codexes, as at Nag Hammadi. The blank sheets were manufactured in pad form, similar to paper pads we have today, but the Nag Yerhubbi paper was much, much larger than the pages found at Nag Hammadi. Thus, the Nag Yerhubbi scribes called their paper source the Codex Maxipad. I know a few more historical details along these lines, but enjoy sleeping indoors far too much to list them here.

Finally, the Nag Yerhubbi documents will not be hidden much longer, as the Lifetime Network plans to feature them as part of a miniseries about all Old Testament and early Christian scriptures. The first episode is being shot right now and the working title is "The Burning Bush" featuring Farrah Fawcett as a young Moses (a stretch, but this is the Lifetime Network after all). The final release title is expected to be "Torah! Torah! Torah!" which ends with Pat Morita starring in the role of Joshua as he plans the sneak attack on Jericho. The scripts for the Nag Yerhubbi segments have yet to be written, but I'm sure the Lifetime Network will portray the men as kind, caring, and sensitive (that has to be the least believable line of this entire thread).

I think that's all I can safely say about the sacred texts in the Nag Yerhubbi Library; I'm already at risk of a discovery any day now at Nag Damaggi.


Pax

Friday, November 26, 2010

Becoming a Responsible Adult

Our beautiful Autistic daughter is the only member of our family who didn't get today off from her new job.  On top of that, her County Transit bus line didn't run today so she had to have alternate transportation.  Anyone who knows anything about autism will understand how a simple change like that to her regular schedule could have been reason for a huge blow up, but she was very calm.

Dad got up and took her to work and we will pick her up when her shift is through.  As a treat we are heading to the Mall this afternoon for a little shopping.  She has earned the use of some of her hard earned wages.

Yesterday she did the dishes with only a little help from dad.  She did a wonderful job too, everything  was loaded carefully into the dishwasher (sometimes she can be a little reckless with her dish placement.)  

She has been taking her medication for allergies like clockwork ever since the Dr. told her that her eczema would not get better unless she took the medication every day.   She uses the special cream correctly as well.

Each day I see great strides in her maturity level.  Now, if only I could get her to clean her bedroom.

I know, but a mom has to have one impossible dream.

Pax

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Being Thankful

I thought I would write this post today since I won't have much time tomorrow because I will be busy preparing a meal.

my faithful readers (all two of you) may probably remember that while I love to eat I really don't like to cook, especially big elaborate holiday meals.  Normally Mrangelmeg and I compromise by finding a really nice Thanksgiving buffet somewhere and take the whole clan out to dinner on the holiday.  I love this because I don't have to cook or clean up and everyone gets exactly what they want to eat.  The only negative is that there are no leftovers to munch on for the rest of the weekend.

This is such a pattern in our lives that when our oldest daughter was in elementary school and her class was discussing their favorite thing their mom's made for Thanksgiving dinner she actually said "I don't know,  Reservations?" with a shrug.  

Anyway, what with all of the turmoil in our lives recently I thought the least I could do for the members of my immediate family would be to suck-it-up and cook a meal for them here at home.  That way Mrangelmeg's mom can be with us and the kids can have tons of leftovers to munch on the rest of the weekend.  

Little did I know when I decided to do this though that 1) I wouldn't be able to find a fresh turkey and 2) I would be spending the night before Thanksgiving at the sleep lab getting my new CPAP machine titrated to help with a newly diagnosed sleep apnea problem.

But everything will work out.  I am sure that the frozen turkey I bought will be thawed in time  and with the help of the girls I will be able to get everything cooked in time for a wonderful meal tomorrow afternoon.

I am thankful for so many things this year.  I am thankful that most of my family is together for this holiday (only one daughter isn't living here so the rest of us will be together.   I am thankful that  Mrangelmeg's mom is healthy enough to come over and be with us,  I would have loved to have my mom with us for a holiday anytime in the last eight or nine years.   I am thankful that I have a nice new stove to cook in, the old one was a bit notional.  I am thankful that we have plenty of food to eat and a nice warm home to live in. (Especially on a rainy day like today).

So, while I think I may be crazy for deciding to cook here at home everything will work out the way it is supposed to work out.  I have faith that my family will step up and take up the slack to make sure that things get done when they need to get done and that I will get enough sleep during the night to be  rested enough to cook tomorrow.

Hey, stop laughing,  it could happen.

Pax

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

De Profundis

For those of you who don't read Latin,  the title of this post is the first two lines of a psalm that is read during the Office of the dead: Psalm 130:




Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
  Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
   to my cry for mercy.
    (v 1-2)


It is one of my "go to" psalms when I am in the Dark Night,  feeling cut off from God and wondering if the Infinite Threeness  is even taking notice of little old me.    It has become even more meaningful now in my present darkness.  With the death of my mother not only am I cut off from God, but I am untethered from a connection to that grounding sense that I belong to someone here on earth.  Today I feel utterly orphaned, and it makes me profoundly sad in a de profundis way.

I used to wonder if it was something I had done that sent God away from me.  Had I been so obstinate and selfish that God had just given up on me and turned away from me as a lost cause.  Was I just too proud of my own will to be worth anything to God?

 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
   Lord, who could stand?
 But with you there is forgiveness,
   so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
(v 3-4)

I realize that I have a connection to other people, like my husband and my children,  and that they need me and I need them, but, as Fr. Bill put it this morning when he talked with me a bit after Mass,  You just don't  belong to anyone the way you belong to your parents.  

I am beginning to wonder though if my sense of longing isn't more profound because I entered the dark night long before my mother died.  I was already trying to find a way to pray that brought me consolation.  I had been. for over a year in a spiritual land where the scenery was unfamiliar.   God was trying to communicate with me, but I was struggling to decipher the new language that was now flowing in my direction.  


I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
   and in his word I put my hope.
 I wait for the Lord
   more than watchmen wait for the morning,
   more than watchmen wait for the morning.
(v 5-6)

And then mom died, who hadn't said anything meaningful to me since 2007 really, because of the prison in which she had been trapped by her disease.  But I loved her and I know that in her way she loved me.  I could go and sit with her, ore even just know that she was there and it made me feel connected.  

Not so now,  that connection has been severed.  I hear a song on the radio, or see a movie on television that she used to love, or something happens in my life and I would love to tell her about it,  but then I remember that she isn't there.  The only analogy that comes close is what it feels like when you lose a tooth,  there is a physical space that you can feel where the tooth used to be.  I can feel that space in my life where my mother used to be.  It is gaping and empty -- de profundis .

The one thing I know, in all of this is that I may be orphaned, but I am not alone.  All those other people in my life; my family and Fr. Bill and my parish family, and my friends are there because God doesn't want me to have to go through this alone.  So while I may not understand God's language in prayer, I do feel God's presence in others.  Everyone who brightens my day, or brings me comfort, is sent from God.   And while they can't take the place of my mom,  they can help me past the bad spots.  God will do the rest,  all I have to do is have faith and hope.

(Israel), put your hope in the LORD, 
   for with the LORD is unfailing love 
   and with him is full redemption. 
 He himself will redeem Israel 

   from all their sins.
(v7-8)


PAX

Saturday, November 13, 2010

What am I Reading

Heresies of the Heart: Developing Emotional WisdomSo I am still working my way through  this wonderful book by my professor.  I am finding that to do it justice I have to read a bit more slowly than I normally devour books.

It is well worth the effort though as I am learning things about myself and why and how I react to the world around me based upon my emotions.





Next in my pile of books is one that was on my wish list, and I am happy to say I came into possession of  recently and can't wait to start reading.

This one should be equally as helpful in the whole emotional wellness,  area, and I am hoping that I will gain as much from this as I am from Ryan's book.

This was one area of our training in Spiritual Direction that I felt we needed much more than three hours to cover, so all the extra reading I can do to assist me in learning how to help others will make me better at my work with them as they tap into their own emotional responses to the world around them and by default, God's movement in the world.

I will give you an update as I continue to read.

What are you reading?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Pax

Sunday, October 31, 2010

It Starts

Tomorrow is the first day of National Novel Writer's Month.  This is the first year since I found out about this fun idea that I actually have the time and the inclination to participate.  I have my outline for the novel I have been trying to write since the middle of Gradual School and I am going to start tomorrow and get it written.

You can follow my progress on the widget on my sidebar, which shows my word-count for each day of the challenge.  I am going to try to write each and every day and really get this thing going.

Hopefully someday you will be reading my novel on your Kindle, or in a real book form.

Hey, It could happen.

Pax

Friday, October 15, 2010

Feast of Teresa of Avila

Today is the Feast day of Teresa of Avila.  This is a famous statue of Teresa called Teresa in Ecstasy.

If you have a real interest in the spiritual life and have never read Interior Castle I would encourage you to give it a try.

I will also add the caveat that Teresa didn't really want to write this wonderful book, and it shows in the end product.   It is the most wonderfully meandering narrative.   If you can stay with her though you are rewarded with a journey through the interior life to full communion with God.

Teresa was a Saint, and a Dr. of the Church, but she was also wonderfully human.  She was a very adamant proponent of praying exactly where one is to God,  with boldness and candor.  One of my favorite of her prayers is:  "If this is the way You treat your friends, it is no wonder You have so few of them."


Pax

Happy Birthday P. G Wodehouse

In honor of P. G. Wodehouse's Birthday I am reposting this wonderful spot on the interweb.


Random Wodehouse Generator


Knock yourself out, wandering thorough some wonderfully witty Wodehouse tidbits.



Pax

Thursday, October 14, 2010

De Profundis

This article about the rescue of the Chilean Miners is absolutely amazing, but then so is our God.

Out of the Depths

How powerful prayer can be,  and what a testament to the power of everyone working together not just on the technical side but on the spiritual side as well.

Pax

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

During this month where everyone is trying to bring to the forefront the importance of self examination, and early detection in the fight against breast cancer,  I feel it is also important to make people aware of all the risk factors.

There is one that even the American Cancer Society itself has tried to deny repeatedly;  the link between abortion and breast caner.  In fact one of my high school classmates had a very heated exchange on my Facebook page the other day because I tried to post some information about this link.  I believe that there is such a link because of all of the things I have read over the years, and not just because I am against abortion for moral reasons.

In 2009 the American Cancer Society finally began to soften its position, and under the weight of incontrovertible and verifiable proof, does now say that there is a link between abortion and increased risk of breast cancer.  Read the article here. 

I believe that women must understand and be aware of all risk factors in order to make informed decisions about their health choices.  

Pax

Friday, October 01, 2010

pious pap




My friend Owen has done an amazing post today for the feast of St. Therese. When you read the Flannery O'Connor remember to use your best southern accent because then it sounds so amazing!  Click on this link to read the rest of his post.

Keep up the good work Owen.

If you aren't following Owen's blog you should be.

Pax

Grief Support Just When I Need It

So, I though I was doing pretty well.  I was finding the time to get things done, and don't feel as though I am living underwater most of the time anymore (swimmers might understand that reference but it is the best metaphor for how I felt the first two or three weeks after mom died -- as though I were totally submerged in water and the rest of the world was somewhere on dry land.  I could see it and hear it but only in a diffuse, muffled way.) 

I am still taking naps every day, but to be honest I enjoy my nap time and they aren't interfering with my other commitments so I think I will continue them.

I was at a really low point one day.  It suddenly hit me that I am an orphan now, because both of my parents are dead.  Why at fifty years old that should even be a thought that would cause me any concern seemed to make my sorrow even more deep.  As I was sitting in my grief that day, I received a letter from a beautiful woman in her early 70's who was part of my Spiritual Direction Internship Cohort Group.  In the letter she reminded me that we had decided that she was my adopted mother, and while she could never take mom's place, she would gladly step in and send me the love, and motherly concern that she knew I was missing.  How carefully God orders our steps.  Her letter came that day because she had been traveling when mom died and had only that week had the time to sit down and write.  

Just this week, I have been reading a book called Availability by Robert Wicks.  I got to church a little early on Wednesday morning so I was reading in Church.  As I read a section on allowing one's self to be open to God's love, it occurred to me that I had been experiencing a really dry spell during my prayer time --a long stretch of withdrawn consolation in prayer.  It hadn't stopped me from spending my time in contemplation, I just come away feeling empty rather than refreshed or restored.  As that realization swept over me I could feel my eyes filling up with tears.  Then, Mass began and it was announced that it was the Feast of the Archangels (Michael, Raphael and Gabriel).  This day happens to be my father's feast day.  The tears really began to flow. 

Fr. Bill, our pastor must have noticed, because when I ran into him going into the parish office the next day he made a point of asking me if I was okay.  He has a way of drawing the truth out of me, (I wonder if that is so for everyone he talks with) so instead of saying "things are just fine"  I actually told him that I was still struggling a bit.  He gave me a few really great pearls of wisdom about grieving.  The most important for me at least being that walking through grief is like entering a valley.  You walk along the valley floor for a long time before you begin to climb back out of the valley on the other side. 

Another piece of wisdom came on an unrelated subject from friends in my supervision group .  When I am done crying, I will move on.  The crying has a purpose.  I have known the grace of tears,  but somehow was hard pressed to offer that grace to myself in this situation.

So, the valley may be long, and deep, and filled with suddenly flowing tears, but I know that with friends like these surrounding me I will make it to the other side and my joy will return. 

Pax

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My Thoughts on Recent Events in My Life

 I haven't written a blog post in a month. In that month a lot has happened.  On August 23rd, my mother slipped from her earthly prison and went to be with dad forever.  I am still trying to fathom all of the subtleties of what it means that I have become an orphan.   It helps to think that mom and dad are together again, both here and in heaven: their earthly remains are united forever in a shared grave with one headstone -- mom's info will be Carved on the back with the phrase: Loving parents together forever.

We also began the tedious job of repainting the inside of our house,something we hadn't done since we moved here in 1997. I know my limitations, so we have someone else doing the actual painting. I just get to choose the colors. Mranglmeg is a bit scared though, because all those white walls are disappearing under a much more vibrant color palate. In the cans he just shakes his head, but once the color goes up on the wall he begins to see my vision or at least is resigned to let me choose because it just doesn't matter to him.

My new career as a spiritual director is beginning to gain ground. I have been seeing new prospective directees and growing my "client base" by leaps in the past month. With each new contact I am humbled at the special place my work takes me in people's lives.  I hope that I can always remember that it is the Holy Spirit that is the true director, and I am in the sacred position of being the eyes and ears and voice to help those who come to me see how The Spirit is moving in their lives.

I haven't had much time for writing, considering the month I have had, but I do have ideas for two new projects I want to start as soon as I get some other things off of my "clipboard of fun.  One is directly related to losing my mother, and a statement that a dear friend from my Spiritual Direction Internship made that five of us from this class had all lost our mothers this calendar year.

I also haven't had much time to knit, and I have a few projects backed up.  I think I need to set aside some time to knit each day because knitting keeps me grounded and helps me clear my mind.  It is such a spiritual practice for me.  Going without it is like going without my evening prayers.

I am taking a much needed trip to St. Meinrad weekend after next for a short mini-retreat.  I just want to get away and lose myself on "The Holy Hill" and find my center again.  Maybe I will even get to run into a few friends as well.

Hopefully, now that things are a bit back to normal I will be able to blog on a slightly more regular basis.

Pax

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

For What Its Worth: Thoughts on Bucket Lists

A colleague of my devoted husband's is living with a debilitating bout of cancer and struggling to maintain as normal a life as possible as he works his way through the treatment process.  Just this week in his weekly email update to his co-workers he mentioned that someone told him that if he had anything on his bucket list he should consider not putting them off.  I have been thinking about that statement all day

It made me think about my parents as an example.  They used to talk about how for one of their anniversaries they would go to France because that is where my mom's parents had come from.  They used to dream about how great that trip would be.  But then my dad got really sick with a brain tumor.  My mom went on that trip to France for her 30th anniversary, but she went without my father who had died years before she finally went.

It has really begun to bother me.  I don't want to think that the only reason that my husband and I are getting to do the amazing things we have always talked about doing, or are getting that fun toy we have always wanted to own is because one of us is dealing with or has just survived a life threatening illness. 


I don't want to call it my bucket list anymore.  I want to pick something really amazing that my husband and I have always wanted to do, or that and we have wanted to have;  or pick a place we have wanted to travel and fit them into our schedule and our budget now instead of waiting until it is too late or until we have some fear that drives us to do them.  Won't we enjoy them more this way?

For starters, I want my husband to plan an amazing golf vacation with his dad while they still both enjoy playing golf.  

Pax

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Dog Days of Summer Meme

Ironic Catholic tagged me (sorry it took so long to catch up)

I am supposed to list my favorite devotions:  in no specific order:


Eucharistic Adoration

Lectio Devina

Centering Prayer

Mass

Intercessory Prayer

I tag

Suzanne's Shorelines
Taking it One Step at a Time
The Long Journey Into the Light

Pax

Monday, August 09, 2010

RIP Patricia Neal: A Woman of Courage and Strength


Patricia Neal died yesterday of lung cancer.  She was an award winning actress, and a mother who suffered through the loss of one child and the disability of another child.  She had a series of strokes from which she had an almost miraculous recovery after long rehabilitation.  She had a well publicized affair with Gary Cooper very early in her career and became pregnant.  They decided to abort the baby because Mr. Cooper was married and they wanted to avoid the scandal involved if she had carried the baby to term. 

Years later, it was Gary Cooper's daughter Maria, who through her friendship with Ms. Neal brought her back to the practice of her faith, and a sense of peace about the trouble in her life.

When asked once by a priest, if there was anything she could go back and redo, this was her response:

"Father, alone in the night for over 40 years, I have cried for my child. And if there is one thing I wish I had the courage to do over in my life, I wish I had the courage to have that baby."


She went on in her later life to become a very vocal pro-life advocate, talking to young women from her own experience as someone who had been in their shoes and asking them to think carefully about the life of their child and the impact that their decision would have on the rest of their lives. 


Read the complete article here.



She was a great actress, but her voice as an advocate for the unborn is what will be missed the most.

Pax

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Did You See What I Saw?

We watched the movie:  "The Invention of Lying"  the other night. It was ultimately intended as a comedy but I think it was also intended as an attack at organized religion and any belief in God at all.   Spoiler alert:  if you haven't yet seen the movie there are a few plot points revealed in the next few paragraphs.

 The people live in a world where not only do they always speak the truth, but they also must be brutally honest and have no filtering mechanism whatsoever.  In other words they say exactly what is on their minds in a very unvarnished way.  Then one man inadvertently discoverers that he can lie and because no one else does people believe what he says.  He begins to lie to make the world better for himself, creating a world the way he wants it to be.

When he visits his mother in the hospital and her Dr. has informed her that she will most likely die that day and it will be all over. The son panics and tells his mom whatever he can think of about an afterlife that he thinks will make her happy as she dies, and the Dr and Nurses hear him.   When word gets out that he knows what happens after you die he has to explain how he knows so he makes up a reason for how he came to know this information and what it all means.  No matter how simple the message he was trying to impart, people kept twisting it or hearing what they wanted to hear or just jumbling it into a huge mess, so he kept having to add more and more detail


It was really interesting to me as a commentary on the difficult task of the theologian.  Theologians have the task of creating apprehension of the ineffable.  They try to keep their explanations simple, but just like the man in the movie, no matter how simply they try, people hear what they want to hear, or get the message muddled.  The theologian thinks his message is very clear yet the hearers can't or won't hear it as clearly as he presents it.

Or maybe I was just projecting my own frustrations at trying to write simple essays on theology into this little film. 

Why don't you see the movie and tell me what you think.

Pax

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Praise The Lord for Answered Prayers

My Beautiful Autistic Daughter has been trying with all of her might to find a job for the three years since she graduated from high school.  She only wanted a part time job, nothing fancy or career oriented, just something that would give her a little pocket money and  a sense of accomplishment as she attempted to work through some courses at the local Community College. 

She has had so many disappointments in the past two three years,  I can't tell you.  One store here in town wouldn't consider her for a stock person job because she might have to talk to shoppers and they were afraid she wouldn't be able to do that.  In all the times I have shopped there I have never had a stock person talk to me, (and when she worked for a short time at the IU bookstore as stock help she was wonderful about helping students find the books they needed, so what joke that the other place wouldn't give her a chance).   Most of the other places took one look at the way she paces and doesn't make eye contact and wouldn't even give her an interview beyond allowing her to fill out an application. 

Yesterday she was offered a job with the IU Libraries, which is the perfect position for her.  She can work on her own, she has volunteered in a library setting for years and doesn't need much training, and  she did a trial run there in January for a month to prove to them that she could hold her own.

Thanks to laws like the Americans with Disabilities Act,  people like my daughter can find meaningful employment.    All they want is a chance to prove that they can do the job just as well as anyone else. 

It isn't lost on me that her job offer came on the anniversary of this groundbreaking legislation.

Thank you to all of my friends who have been praying for this for so long.  We knew it would happen if we waited long enough, but it didn't keep us from getting discouraged as the months kept going by without any sign of movement in her direction.

This just proves that God is faithful, and God's time is perfect.

Pax